This morning Colleen and I put the finishing touches on
packing our backpacks that we would be living out of for the next couple of
months. As expected, Colleen did not
take kindly to the idea of having to store all of her worldly possessions for
the next 60 days in a backpack, but I have a feeling she'll warm to the idea in
time. Either that or she will just keep
giving me more and more of her shit to carry for her. With that in mind, Colleen and I bundled into
the family SUV along with my mother, sister (going to work), father (airport
chauffeur), and Peter my brother's friend.
Kiel, my brother, would be flying out and joining us a day later as he had to go and see Calvin Harris
perform that night. The things men will
do for women, I tell ya! It was a good
thing Kiel wasn't with us though because with six people we were already having
to bury some of the lesser family members underneath the luggage.
Somehow, we all made it to Pearson Airport in Toronto in one
piece, although my testicles were starting to feel the weight of the
luggage. I am not sure what Colleen
packed in there, but I am pretty sure I remember telling her to leave her shake
weights and cinder blocks at home.
While waiting for our flight to Tokyo, I was happy to see that a couple
of tried and true Japanese traditions were still holding true. Firstly, nerdy,
white men love them some Japanese women.
There are probably between 5-10 couples on our flight consisting of
gangly, sweater vest wearing white dudes who are shacked up with Asian (I'm
going to assume they are Japanese) women.
Yup, nothing is more desirable to a suburban North American computer
nerd than falling in love with a submissive Japanese woman. On the other hand, you never see an Asian man
in a relationship with a Caucasian woman.
I'm not going to wonder why this is.
I'm just observing. Secondly, I
thought this whole Asian people wearing SARS/hospital masks in public was a fad
that was done away with a few years ago.
Apparently I've just been in my Arctic cocoon for too long. I have seen numerous people wearing this
glamorous face gear both in the airport and on the plane. In fact, the girl in front of me right now on
the flight has been sleeping with a mask on.
Germaphobe or surgeon-in-training: I'm still trying to figure it out.
Aside from all my friends wearing their flu masks, the
flight to Tokyo has thus far been pretty uneventful. We are about 11 hours into a 13 hour flight
and when we arrive in Tokyo we will be 14 hours ahead. Translation: We left Toronto at 12pm on
Friday and will be arriving at 2pm on Saturday.
With the flight being so long I can assure you there is nothing worse
than being on a sold-out flight and having a middle seat on a trip to the other
side of the world. Having done it a
couple of times, I can vouch for its shitiness.
Luckily, this flight is only about half full so Colleen and I were able
to get a bank of three seats to ourselves as were Peter and my mom. Unluckily for all those around me, I have had
terrible gas for the last 11 hours and have been stinking up the cabin like
it's nobody's business. There was even
one gentleman sitting across this aisle from us whom I took it upon to fart
directly in his face when I stood up.
The way I see it, he deserved it for making Colleen and I watch him pick
his nose for the better of a couple hours.
The best part is, he will never know it was me thanks to the beauty of
"airplane white noise" or whatever it is they call that noise in the
background. Either way, it is great for
masking where farts come from. The only
other point of interest worth noting from the flight is the fact that I used
chop sticks for the first time in over five years! The last time I used chop sticks was on a
flight to Shanghai, although once I landed in China I never used the bloody
things again. Only time will tell if the
same holds true in Japan.
While, we shall be landing at Narita Airport just outside of
Tokyo soon and the real fun is about to begin.
Between the five of us who are travelling we have done about a combined
nine minutes of research on our destination.
In fact, we are not even sure how to get to our hotel which as we
understand it is about 2.5 hours from the airport and involves us riding
multiple trains. So, if there is no blog
entry after this one you can safely assume that we got lost somewhere in
Tokyo's complex subway and rail system and were sold into Japanese slavery and
are therefore working as some freakishly large geishas/tranny geishas in some
Japanese whore house.
~Brentski~
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