Sadly our vacation was coming to a close. We only had one destination left, Hong Kong, where we would only be spending a couple of nights (travel dates were changed due to poor planning on our part) before flying back to Canada and the reality that awaited us there (see: work and cold weather). On a much more awesome note, while we were in Hong Kong, Colleen and I were going to go to Disneyland the next day and behave like a couple of children!
Our flight to Hong Kong was not scheduled to leave Koh Samui until 5pm,so we had one last day in the tropical expanse known as Thailand. After loitering in our room and its air conditioning for as long as possible, we eventually caught the shuttle bus into town where we made it our mission to spend the remaining bit of Thai currency that we had. Being the foodies that we are, McDonald's was naturally our first stop of the day for some of that fine local fare.
While Mickey D's is usually a pretty safe bet, the same could not be said for our second stop of the day. Although I am not a huge man of massages, Colleen somehow convinced me that we should get one last massage before leaving the island. And as you all know, I am a big practitioner of the "happy wife, happy life" philosophy. So with that, we found the classiest/most reputable looking place we came across and sauntered in and signed up for some oil massages. It was one of the bigger massage parlors in the area (do they call them parlors, or is that only for rub and tugs?) so it seemed like a safe bet. Boy were we wrong! Next thing I knew, Colleen and I were being led upstairs to our own private curtained-off area with our two masseuses. There was only slight problem...my masseuse was not a chick, or even a dude for that matter: it was a ladyboy! Kind of fitting on my last day in Thailand don't you think? Colleen could not stop giggling, while I was not sure whether to laugh myself or run out of the building. Never being one to want to offend people, the next thing I knew I was following the instructions of my large-handed, and we shall assume well-endowed massage expert and was stripping down to my boxers. Mother of God. As I laid down I tried to relax, but the truth is I could not stop laughing to myself. Here I was 95% naked getting oiled up by someone with gender identification issues while my girlfriend was laying on a bed beside me smirking and giggling at my discomfort. As the massage progressed, so too did the relationship between his/her hands and my body. Next thing I knew, my upper thighs were getting oiled up and the hands were slowing getting conspicuously close to my genital region. I'm not going to lie: there was some definite finger-to-ball grazing going on, but at this point I was in too deep (pun fully intended)! They say massages are supposed to be a relaxing experience...I can assure you this was not! Since I am clearly a sucker for punishment, we realized we didn't have any small bills to tip the masseuses and trying to ask someone to make change for you who doesn't speak any English is next to impossible. So we had to go to a shop down the road to break our bill so that we could come back and tip my burly provider of pleasure. I guess I just couldn't stay away from those magic hands!
Once we dropped the last bit of our money on some ice cream cones, we hopped in a cab to the airport for our impending flight to Hong Kong. Koh Samui Airport is actually rated as one of the top ten airports in the world. It has a beautiful open-air concept and is a truly "tropical" airport. Despite its superior ranking, we were informed that our flight had been delayed. Due to the setback, we were each given a voucher that we could use in the airport shops for either food or a massage. I will let you guess which one Colleen and I opted for! After killing as much time as we could we headed to the boarding gate, only to be greeted by even more delays. Again though, the Koh Samui Airport stepped up and kept the grumpy passengers happy with free snack food and refreshments.
Following multiple postponements, our flight did eventually depart and we touched down in Hong Kong shortly after midnight. We grabbed a cab to the Panda Hotel (yes, that was the real name) and seemingly passed an endless supply of skyscrapers along the way. I knew Hong Kong was densely packed, but it is truly the definition of a concrete jungle. Since WiFi was atrociously priced at $15 a day in our hotel, we ventured out into the Hong Kong night in search of a McDonald'/free WiFi, because let's be real, everyone needs to visit McDonald's three times a day. Am I right?
|The beauty that is Hong Kong.|