BigIdiotStick: Day 85- Off To Penang, The Night Food Market Capital Of Malaysia (Solid Claim To Fame).

Having successfully survived our first few days in Malaysia, it was time for us to move upwards and onwards. Our goal was to travel back to Thailand via bus, but before we made it back we were going to spend a few nights in the northern Malaysian city of Penang. Before leaving Kuala Lumpur, Colleen and I hit up our local one-of-the-world's-largest-malls for some grub. Keeping with our theme of super exotic eating we settled on a combination of Booster Juice, jumbo pretzels, and a mandatory visit to the local Subway. Rather impressively it was the sixth time in the last nine days that Colleen had eaten Subway, and two of the days she didn't have any were because we were on a cruise ship!

With our bellies full we headed over to the bus terminal, which like many such things in Southeast Asia was a complete gong show. There were people hassling you left, right, and centre trying to sell you bus tickets and it appeared that there were dozens of bus companies operating out of this one terminal. Eventually we found what we thought was our bus and lugged our heavier-by-the-minute backpacks over to the platform. After our departure time had come and gone, we were a little nervous and started asking around if anyone knew anything as there were buses constantly coming and going. Not surprisingly, no one had a fuckin' clue and the wifey and I were left wondering whether or not we would make it to Penang.

This bus ride is so enjoyable. Not tight at all.

Amidst much confusion and chaos our bus did eventually show up. Keeping up with our run of good luck, Colleen and I got seated behind the world's two biggest assholes who decided to put their seats ALL THE WAY back and effectively pin Colleen and I to our seats for the entire six hour journey. Of course six hours wasn't enough time with the two Sleeping Beauties in front of us so the transportation gods decided to throw in some Chinese New Year traffic to lengthen the drive and really test our meddle.

By the time we pulled into Penang with our crushed lower extremities, all we could think about was getting off that damn bus! Well that, and the fact that it seemed there were no actual "Malay" people in this part of the country. Every person seemed to be of Chinese or Indian descent, which upon further inquiring I was told was quite normal for this region. Hmmm, good to know I guess. Colleen had again enforced her ~~womanly charm~~ will on me and forced us to book into a large Western-style hotel, the Cititel. I know I shouldn't complain about staying in nicer accommodations than I had originally planned for, but damn was my now non-existent budget taking a beating. No straw huts and backpacker dives for this broad!

Once we were settled in we headed out into the streets to check out Penang's regionally famous street food. There are a number of night markets that are chock full of vendors hawking all sorts of food from various regions of the world. Initially we decided to skip said markets and settled on some good old-fashioned hot dogs and hamburgers (sad, I know). After filling our guts with the street grease, Colleen and I wised up and headed over to Red Garden Food Paradise, one of the more famous night markets in the city. The place was full ~~of Malaysian~~ Chinese people as far as the eye could see, which again just seemed odd to me because I was completely ignorant to the large scale immigration that had occurred here. Never ones not to eat even when we are full, the lady and I tackled a banana split and some jumbo beers to wash it down. Colleen eventually decided that she was still hungry (even though she hadn't finished her original dinner) and went out and scored herself a second round of supper. I must say I hear the same thing almost every night when Colleen (who inevitably never finishes her food) thus proclaims herself to be hungry not one hour after dinner. The nerve I tell ya! Love is a funny thing.