Monday, April 7, 2014

Day 81- So You're Saying That Wearing My Man Thong And Nipple Piercings To The Shopping Mall In A Muslim Country Is Frowned Upon? Bummer.


She loves the towel animal more than me!
In keeping with the theme of shitty food, our room service breakfast arrived at 9am and we decided to make the most of our free balcony upgrade and enjoy our breakfast out there.  Thankfully, eating your food overlooking the ocean on a lovely day can make bland, tasteless food seem not as bad as it really is.

That morning we had pulled into port at Melaka, Malaysia, our sole port of call on the two-night cruise.  There was nowhere for the cruise ships to dock so the ship just anchored a few hundred meters off shore and they boated us in on smaller vessels.  Immediately upon disembarking the boat, Colleen and I realized that we had not taken into account the fact that we were in a Muslim country (this was a first for both of us, so it was an excusable offence in our minds).  Colleen was wearing short shorts and a shirt with no sleeves, both of which are frowned upon.   She did get a few stares here and there, although we did see other women who were dressed more "inappropriately" and the fact that Melaka is heavily touristed meant that she would probably not be stoned to death.  Well at least not today.

Colleen in her "slutty" Malaysian attire.
 

This guy apparently went to the "Brent Moreau School Of Working".

With my "slutty-by-Malaysian standards" girlfriend in tow, we headed to the local shopping mall to try and grab some local currency from one of the bank machines.  We tried at least six different machines, but alas our Canadian debit and credit cards were apparently not welcome.  They must have been warned that Colleen was coming!  Thankfully we had a bit of American cash on us that we were able to trade in for some  Malay ringgit (what they call their funny money).  Now that we had our pockets lined, I did what I always do: force Colleen to hit the tourist trail with me!  We hit up some big spinning wheel thing that takes you a few stories up for views of the city.  Supremely underwhelming if I say so myself.  Next I dragged Colleen to the Maritime Museum where we I got educated on the history of Europeans in the area and naturally the forced enslavement of the local people that followed.  Our last couple of stops so that we could officially say "we saw Melaka" were some church and fort that had been built on a hill.  Typical tourist stuff, and by this point all Colleen cared about was getting out of the heat and visiting the not-so local A&W for an ice cold root beer.  I'm still not sure what Allah thinks of A&W.  I'll ask him next time I see him.

The big wheel thingie. We shall just call it that.

Overlooking the city from said wheel.

Colleen not so pumped up for the Maritime Museum.
 

Future husband perhaps?

Old fort overlooking the city. No doubt used by white people in their enslavement of the locals.
Back on the ship, we hit up the lunch buffet before testing out the mini putt course and rock climbing wall.  I had never had either of these on a ship before, so it was something new and exciting, although I fear that Colleen's career as a rock climber stopped that afternoon (see: quitter!).  Because of the previous nights' debacle in the main dining room, we decided to fork out a few extra bucks and have dinner in one of the specialty restaurants.  My lovely girlfriend treated me for Valentine's Day, which was still a week away, but hey I wasn't about to complain.  The steakhouse was not overly busy, but again there were some issues with the service.  After being seated our server did not come over for ten minutes (again, the place was near empty).  It took them over twenty minutes to bring our bottle of wine and in fact our appetizers arrived before we got the wine.  I will say though, it wasn't all bad and the food itself was terrific.  So terrific in fact that we both felt like Humpty Dumpty afterwards.  After dinner we took in the nightly entertainment, which was standard cruise ship far as I can remember!  Since it was only a two night cruise we wanted to go out and experience some of the nightlife, or lack thereof on the ship, but alas we deemed ourselves immobile and spent the rest of the evening watching "Jerseylicious" on the boob tube.  Pathetic, I know.

Putt putt all-star.
My nuts were not feeling so good at this point.

We'll just say Colleen made it all the way to the top...
 

We opted for the private dinner on the second night of our cruise after the previous night's debacle.

Scoping out the action on the ship.

Chinese people sure love singing and dancing!


~Brentski~

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