(Pictured: Seville aka the only place I`ve been on Earth that`s hotter than hell)
Sunday we finally packed up and were ready to leave Madrid when low and behold we couldn't get a fucking train again! At the station we ran into one of our buddies, Gene (from Toronto), who was also on his way to Seville later that day. Eventually we were able to get out later in the afternoon although that basically pissed away a day and just led to us doing nothing except going out for some fine cuisnine in the form of Kronnenberg beer and barbeque pizza. Seville's nightlife was significantly tamer than Madrid's so there was not a whole lot to do. We stayed in the hostel and played some ridiculously stupid card games (Tractor, Crazy 8s, lots of other dumb shit) against our new found British friends Yang Gang Bang (YGB) and Cindy. Needless to say I'm a card playing legend and proceeded to whoop ass all over Seville (Some facts may have been slighlty altered to appease my ego).
Well May 14 brought about a pleasant day in the bum-ridden city of Seville. Slim in his typical form would not roll his lazy ass out of bed so I just said "fuck it" and decided to hit the town on my own. Most of the major attractions were closed on Monday so I was only able to hit up the big two, the Seville Cathedral and The Plaza del Toros. The Plaza Del Toros is another one of Spain's famous bullfighting rings and instead of seeing the show I opted to just do the tour this time. At the Cathedral I again ran into Gene who was with our other buddy Glen and was joking about how I couldn't escape them no matter where I went. That night SuperSlim made plans for us to go out for dinner and to take in some hardcore Flamenco dancing with Yang Gang Bang and Cindy. Man I really wish my name rhymed with cool shit like gang bang. We had some crap-tacular Irish food for dinner but at least they were selling cheap beer, which in my books more that makes up for even the worst food. So after dinner we searched for this god-damn flamenco dancing show forever (don't put women in charge of directions) and finally found it six score and seven days later. At the show we again ran into Gene and Glen who were now hanging out with this idiot we had roomed with in Paris. It was a total Six Degrees of Separation moment. During the show I couldn't stop laughing at the man beast of a woman who was on stage singing. Her bosoms are still haunting me to this minute. After the show the girls again proceeded to get us lost on the way home to make it a perfect 3-for-3 on getting us lost in one night! Men are the only navigators. Period.
Tuesday we were finally ready to leave Spain. But it was going to be a chore and a half. We first took a 2.5 hour train from Seville to Madrid, followed by a 5.5 hour train to Barcelona. From there, we had a 2.5 hour layover before catching our first, and hopefully last, overnight train to Geneva, Switzerland. My cabin on the train was good fun as it consisted of a Spaniard, a Latino, A Korean, and me. Great communication going on in our cab, let me tell ya!
Today we arrived in Geneva bright and early at 5:30 am. We made our way over to our hostel to get cleaned up. When I emerged from the shower there stood in front of me this horrid, and man do I mean horrid, looking little person. Now don't get me wrong I've seen many attractive little people, but this guy scared the shit out of me, especially at 7:00 am. So after that life altering experience Slim and I were on our way to check out the fairly limited sights of Geneva. We went and did a tour of the United Nations Building which was pretty decent, followed by an excruciatingly boring visit to the Red Cross Museum. You win some, you lose some. As we emerged from the UN Building, Slim spotted something....my ugly midget friend! He quickly agreed that that was the ugliest dwarf he had seen this week. This afternoon we just kind of perused the streets of Geneva and took in some of the other sights. I mostly just went around with my camera attempting to get birds of all varieties to strike nice poses for me. After Slimmy told me that swans have known to attack handsome men named Brent I became a little skeptical and started to back off a bit. Tonight I think I'm gonna go and attempt to speak French and get my haircut. I have a feeling that this could get real ugly, real fast, and it's highly likely that I will end up with a mullet. Oh, and by the way it is true that Switzerland is CRIMINALLY expensive.
Until next time, peace out, and remember.....If you forgot about Mother's Day you're an asshole of a child!
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