(Originally published June 1, 2007)
(Pictured: Venice at night, where the streets have no name. Maybe they do, I'm just making that up)So our first night in Florence, we ended up taking in the finals of the Champions League between Liverpool!!!!! and AC Milan. We couldn't believe it, but every bar in the city had taken reservations for the game annd was booked solid. Luckily, we found a pub that was willing to accept a couple of naive Canadians, and to top it off, they forgot to charge us for one of our pitchers, which saved us about $25! Alright...now if only Liverpool could have found a way to show up for the game....
Our second day in Florence, SlimJim and I went to Accademia in the morning to see Michelangelo's famous statue, David. That statue was pretty awesome, as was much of his other works, and definately ranked as one of the better art museums we have visited. Later on, we took a day trip with our homie from Oklahoma, RyGuy, to visit the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I hate to say it, but it was pretty uneventful, other than when we took the stupid pictures of us trying to hold the tower up. We basically got off the train, walked to see the tower, and then went back to the train and back to Florence. That night, Slim and RyGuy decided to stay in like a couple of weak North Americans, while I hit the town with a wide assortment of characters, including one Japanese dude who spoke like twenty words of English. It was good times all around, as about 6 or 7 of us just got trashed outside of some cafe with the hostel manager, who claimed that it was perfectly okay to leave the hostel without any supervision (he may have been high and or drunk, as he should be!). His English skills basically consisted of the words "cool man!" and that's all he said to us in his mocking Iranian/Italian/American accent over the course of two days. What a fucker!
Friday, the 25th of May saw us make our way to the tourist capital of Italy, Rome. Due to poor planning, we were forced to stay in three different hostels in four nights, and the only hostel we got for multiple nights, we had to switch rooms! Our first night, we stayed in a hostel that was about an hour out of the city centre, as it was actually by the beaches outside of Rome. During the day, we just lounged around the beaches before waiting for the action to kick in. Our friend Cindy from Seville happened to be staying there as well (although she was without Yang who was pronounced dead upon arrival in Italy and had to be shipped back to either England or China, not sure on her immigration status), so we made plans to meet up with her that night. That evening, a large group of Americans, Canadians, and one foreigner, Cindy the Brit, went out for dinner, where we all proceeded to drink heavily except for these two weird girls from the States who had choir practice or some shit in the morning. They definately were not like the rest of us hammer cases! After that, Slim and I proceeded to whoop ass in ping-pong (tried beer pong, glasses were too small, and we were all too drunk) against a bunch of dudes from Montreal. Not yet content with the night, Cindy, Slim and I proceeded to make our way to the beach (red wine in hand), where we found this awesome beach bar that let you bring your own booze in, although I still managed to spend well over $60 on their beer. We partied hard there till the sun came up, which believe me made for a not-so-fun sleep in the foyer of the hostel at about 6am.
Saturday, Slim and I were both viciously hung over and we had to move to a hostel about an hour away from the beaches, back in the city centre of Rome. I tried to go the Vatican that day, but when I arrived there, I was too exhausted (still sweating out my alcohol) and just decided to head back to the hostel for some R&R. When I was just about to leave the Vatican, the Pope came out and gave a speech from his window (a la Eurotrip) and everyone went crazy, as if he was the biggest rock star in the world (that title belongs to Burt Bacharach). That night, Slim, Cindy, and I had predetermined that we were going to do the Spanish Steps pub crawl, which came highly recommended to us. We paid $30 and were given unlimited drinks and pizza for the first hour and a half, as well as a t-shirt (which I naturally lost) followed by vists to four bars/clubs, each with a free shot upon entrance. Needless to say everyone was a train wreck after the first hour and I was most definately feeling the effects for a couple of days after. But hey, good times all around, even if my liver doesn't fully agree that partying till the sun comes up two nights in a row is a good idea!
By Sunday, my hard-partying ways started to catch up with me and I was basically dead. Slim and I went to vist the Colosseum, where it seemed that everyone and their brother was talking about Maximus aka Russell Crowe from Gladiator (solid film by the way). That night was my first dry night in a while, and I hit the sack rather early (11:30pm) in an attempt to partially cleanse my sytem. Bravo!
Monday I decided to make my way back to the Vatican Museum. The line-up was huge (over an hour to get in), but luckily I ran into these guys from the University of Florida who I had partied with in Interlaken and ran into again in Florence, so I chilled with them as we awaited our grand entrance. Let's just say, the museum is not all it's cut out to be, and I went through the paces as fast as I could. That night some peeps at the hostel left me in charge of movie selection, which naturally led to me selecting Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and There's Something About Mary as the night's viewing fare. What can I say, I got great taste!
The 29th of May saw the Brent and Slim show make their way to the romance capital of the world, Venice. We got in fairly late in the afternoon, so we just explored the city and its crazy maze of streets and canals. It's ridiculous how fast the city is sinking (I believe 1 inch per year), and many parts of it are already under water. Sad to say, but I don't think Venice will be around too much longer. People had warned us that Venice was extremely confusing and they weren't lying. Slim and I got lost for over two hours, during which time he kept trying to seduce me, but I wasn't having any of that (sick bastard)! That night while I was out exploring the streets, I was propositioned by some hookers, as I should be (always helps out with my ego issues).
Our second day in Venice was a little more productive than the first. We made our way into the city at a decent time and purchased our one day water bus pass for the over-the-top price of $23! When in Venice! The funny thing was that you didn't really need a pass because no one ever checks them, as all the buses are packed full and quite frankly, I just don't think the drivers care! Good thing when we were on the boat I had my newly minted Venetian Sailor's cap, which definately gave me a real sense of worthiness out on the open waters (in reality I looked like a tool, but the sheer novelty of the cap was too much to bear). That afernoon, we made our way out to one of the Venetian islands, Lido, where Slim proceeded to whoop my out-of-shape ass in some beach soccer. I almost stopped breathing on several occasions, but managed to make it through the ordeal alive.
Tuesday morning, it was time to move on up in the world, out of Italy, and on to Salzburg, Austria. Austria was going to be a quick two days and out, so we had to actually do some productive tourist stuff while there. That afternoon, we visited Festung Hohensalzburg, which is the largest preserved castle (never attacked) in all of Europe. I wish that one was as exciting as it sounds, but quite frankly it wasn't! We also visited the city's most famed residence, that of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. I'll let you imagine what it looked like (don't get too creative). That night, was the earliest I think I have been to bed since I was about six months old. I hit the hay at 8:30pm and didn't rise until 9:30am the next day. When my body started shaking that day, I think it was telling me that I really have to slow down on the substance abuse front for a few days and catch up on some sleep.
The next morning, Slim and I went to vist Mozart's Geburtshaus (birthplace). After that we boarded a day train, as we were off to visit the largest ice caves in the world, known as Eisriesnwelt (don't even ask me to translate that one!). Once we got there, we had a bit of a hike, followed by a cable car ride up a mountain to the entrance of the ice caves, whereupon entrance we were given a guided tour. Inside was unlike anything I have even seen before! Just walls and walls of ice, which have been swept into these crazy shapes by the wind over the course of thousands of years. Definately something I would recommend to anyone visiting Austria, a true marvel of nature. That night I just pounded a few Stiegl's (good Austrian beer) back with some of the others in the hostel bar, where we were unfortunate enough to be joined by this one dude from San Francisco who was the biggest tool in the world, and kept trying to talk down to us, when in fact he was always wrong. Whatever, morons are abound everywhere, look no further than the author for proof of that one.
SO......it's now the first of June, I have freshly arrived in Prage, Czech Republic and I'm still alive. So far my casualty list includes:
2 corkscrews (either corks here are tough, or their corckscrews are shit)
2 t-shirts (one lost during the pub crawl, other got doused in red wine, by a certain somebody, not naming any names)
2 pairs of sunglasses (one pair just mysteriously broke, other got crippled in transport)
1 Toronto Blue Jays Hat (left it at some dude's house in London, damn I loved that hat)
.....and prolly more shit that I can't even think of.
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