(Originally published August 6, 2007) (Pictured: The Kwik-E-Mart. Yes, you read that correctly!)....................................................................
Long ago, there was a band known to the masses as "Rage Against the Machine". In the year 2007, they decided to reunite and kick out the funk. Myself, Blowhausen and LapDawg took it upon ourselves to travel to New York City to catch one of their few performances this year.........
So due to lack of advanced planning, we ended up having to drive down to New York City, which is not something I would recommend to anyone. We packed up our stuff into Blowhausen's truck and hit the road at about 10:30pm on Thursday night. MapQuest said it should take about 8.5 hours to get from the Moreau residence to our hotel, which was located one block from Tiimes Square. I was asleep within a half hour and left Hausen and Dawg to navigate. Bad idea number one. Blowhausen in all his wisdom got lost before we even got out of Ontario! The we hit a highway detour in Pennsylvania. Long story short, it took us just shy of twelve hours to get to the hotel, by which time my two amigos were so jacked up on energy drinks and coffees, they were shaking like Michael J. Fox in a haunted house.
Friday morning after watching some quality episodes of American Gladiators, we went on foot to explore the city. We checked out some of the sights and neighbourhoods, including Times Square, the World Trade Centre sight, Madison Square Garden, SoHo, Little Italy, Chinatown, etc. That night we hit up the Hard Rock in Times Square for dinner. Quite the pricey affair, considering how crappy their food always is. But hey, sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet and eat those $20 cheeseburgers. After that, we went back to the hotel (Blowhausen and LapDawg had been awake for two straight days at this point) and were all promptly tucked in and fast alseep my 10:30pm. Lame, yes I know, but hey it happens!
Saturday was the day we had been waiting months for. After getting some much needed rest, we got ourselves out to Randall's Island in Northern Manhattan for the Rock the Bells festival featuring Rage Against the Machine, Wu-Tang Clan (all eight members together), Cypress Hill, Public Enemy, The Roots, and a shitload more. After sitting through the heat all day and drinking $7 beers, Rage finally hit the stage at about 9pm. Now I've been in some mosh pits in my day, but this was just absolutely nuts! Zach and the boys performed like a well-oiled machine and had the place in an absolute frenzy. We all managed to survive the concert (although Hausen almost died on about three separate occasions during the day due to dehydration) and made our way back to the hotel just drenched in sweat and stinking like, well for lack of better words, ass! That night, after we tucked Captain Dehydration into bed, LapDawg and I went to check out the Empire State Building and also this 7-Eleven that had been converted into a Kwik-E-Mart. Apparently they did this with about ten 7-Elevens across North America (only Canadian one is in B.C.). Let me tell you. A Squishee tastes waaaaaaaaaaaay better than a Big Gulp!
Sunday, we just did some shopping and then headed on home. The drive home was not too bad, as it only took nine hours, and I got some delicious and well-priced beer and Backwoods from my fine friends at the Duty Free! There is nothing quite as delicious as Border Beer. I mean nothing!
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