(Originally published May 13, 2008) (Pictured: Lots of drunk people having a good time on the boat cruise. Look at them go!)................................................................................
Thursday morning I returned the windowless-easy-access Jeep, which surprisingly made it through the night unscathed. Later that morning, we hit up an American institution for breakfast, the International House of Pancakes, or IHOP as it is now known by all the slicksters. That afternoon we took a shuttle bus over to Hanauma Bay for some snorkelling. Hanauma Bay is famous for its beautiful coral reefs and colourful (and very human friendly) fish. We snorkelled around for a bit before we were ushered off to go parasailing with our new found friends Mike and Stormie from Arizona (yes, her name really was Stormie!). Parasailing was pretty tame, as we had both done it on previous occasions, and Lou informed the boat operators not to get us wet after witnessing the soakers they gave the couple before us. She’s the boss. Period. For dinner, we visited every tourists’ favourite restaurant wherever they go, Planet Hollywood! Nothing helps me sleep better than overpriced drinks in souvenir glasses and poorly cooked hamburgers! Later that evening, we had to change rooms as they must have been having mechanical troubles on top of the building, causing a loud ruckus in our 17th floor (top floor) room. We had to pack up all of our belongings and boogie on down to the 14th, where we found a queen bed awaiting us as opposed to the king we were growing accustomed to. I cried, and then I ate some Cheetos and felt better.
Friday, I slept in probably the latest I have all trip. We spent the afternoon lounging around the pool and drinking delicious beverages from its accompanying bar. After catching more sun than a pasty white boy like me should, we went back to the room and readied ourselves for our dinner cruise that night. We got picked up on our bus to take us to the boat for the cruise and discovered that it was us and all, and I mean all, Japanese people who spoke no English! Eventually we were joined on the bus by a couple other people who spoke our native tongue. We arrived for the cruise around 5:00pm, and it lasted for about 2.5 hours. We sailed on a giant catamaran a couple miles off shore in the lovely Hawaiian night and ate a respectable dinner. Lou spent the whole night worrying about her skirt blowing up, as the winds were quite strong and the perverts (me included) were out in full force. The drunken people were all singing typically awesome songs like Macarena and YMCA and such and keeping the more sober birds like me entertained. After getting bussed back with Horoki, Sushimi, Nintendo, and the rest of our rich Japanese comrades, we retired to the room for a little R & R, or in my case flopping on the bed and sleeping in my clothes.
Our last full day, was more of the same from the day before. It consisted of a lot of time spent around the pool and its bar and yada yada yada. That evening we vowed we had to go and booze it up, as it would be our last night on the island. So, after drinking throughout the day, we drank some more in the room and then made our way over to a bar called ‘Da Big Kahuna’ where we indulged in a wide variety of drinks, including the world’s largest fishbowl (or pretty damn close). In our perfectly sober state, we then went back to the pool/hotel bar for some more drinks and to be entertained by some third-rate clown who made the worst balloon shapes ever and had problems with his fire-eating routine. Comedy folks, comedy, especially when you can’t see straight. Lucklily, the clown and I both barely survived the night.
Sunday, May 11, was our last day in paradise (place truly is the closest thing on this planet) . As our flight did not leave until 11:00pm, I caved and paid the extra dough to keep our room until that night. That day we didn’t do much, and just lounged around the pool (I left, the woman got hit on....again). At least one of us is good looking! After leaving Hawaii Sunday night at 11:00pm (5:00am Toronto time, Monday morning), we made it back to Toronto by 5:30pm Monday night and it was back to reality, although reality would have to face me with my new, improved tan (not half as good as Lou’s tan though)!
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