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| Looking out at the beach from our resort. |
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| Aloe and Bacardi Breezers. What more could a girl need in life? |
Despite our near death ridiculously embarrassing experience
on our motorbike the day before, Colleen and I were not yet deterred on
two-wheel transportation. We decided to
drive a good hour and a half or so outside of town to find a waterfall we had
been told about. With our trusty map,
the two of us set out and before we knew it we were whizzing down the freeway
looking like Harry and Lloyd a la "Dumb and Dumber". Driving mopeds on the freeway is pretty
standard stuff for most people in this part of the world, but for a couple of
cakers like us, it can be a slightly terrifying experience as large trucks and
other assorted automobiles zip past you at high speeds. Eventually after surviving the highway, we
found ourselves on some pretty shady back roads (see: rough dirt roads) and had
been travelling for over an hour and a half.
Factor in that we were miles from any real form of civilization and
there were dogs (obviously rabid)
barking at us anytime we pulled over.
For once in my life, common sense prevailed and we decided that it was
in our best interest to turn back as the roads were getting rougher, the houses
fewer and farther between, and the fuel was over half spent. Meh, I'm sure it was an ugly waterfall anyway! During this whole adventure, I would like to
point out that my lovely, albeit extremely white girlfriend was wearing a coat
in the +33°C weather to protect her skin from the sun as she was still
recovering from her severe case of sunburn.
What a trooper I tell ya!
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| Back country. Keep your butthole tight! |
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| Like a boss.
|
Rolling back into the town of Ban Krut, our fuel was now
almost on empty and as soon as we hit the outskirts of town our moped started
to "putt". Since neither of us
know anything about cars and/or bikes we were not sure what was happening. My guess was that we were either out of gas
or had gotten a flat tire. So, we pulled
over, bought a couple rounds of watermelon popsicles and assessed the
situation. Shortly thereafter our back
tire started to deflate and I can only thank Buddha for how lucky we were to
get a flat tire in town and not out in the middle of the sticks, where we would
have possibly been facing a twelve hour walk, all the while pushing our
motorbike in the blazing sun and possibly getting harassed by Thai bush people
(not sure if this is a real thing). Instead,
we pushed the bike a hundred or so meters down the road to the local gas
station, which in actuality was a woman selling glass Pepsi bottles full of
gasoline in front of her shanty. She instructed
us to walk the bike around the corner where there was a repair shop. Back in Canada, such things as visiting a
mechanic scare me, normally because most of them are shysters and love to rape
you financially. I wasn't really sure
what to expect here, especially since we were foreigners. When it was all said and done, we needed to
get a new inner tube for our tire and we were presented with a bill for parts
and labor totaling....$3.50! Yes, this
was some of the best bad luck ever!
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| The happening town of Ban Krut. |
With our newly minted tire, we decided to head back to our
new favorite restaurant in all of Asia, Kasama's, to grab some lunch. It was then off to the pharmacy to pick up
some Afterbite. I am pretty sure with
all of the products Colleen was purchasing, we could almost open up our own
pharmacy, as we were now toting around Afterbite, three different types of
Aloe, sunscreen, tattoo sunscreen, bug repellent, bug killer, and bed bug
killer. It's safe to say that if anyone
took a match to either one of our backpacks we would be quite fucked (see:
blowup). Following our misadventure
earlier in the day, Colleen and I spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing
which entailed me going for an extended walk by myself along the beach. Yup, just
a man by his lonesome, walking the beach with some stray dogs and millions of sand
crabs.
That night was to be our last in Ban Krut before heading
further south, so naturally we had to go to our new favorite restaurant in the
world, Kasama's for the last supper.
Hoping to enjoy a peaceful dinner, our dreams were quickly dashed when
we discovered we had some crazy guy sitting at the table beside us who was
yelling at everyone in Italian. After
asking the owner what the guy's deal was, all he could confirm for us was that
the dude was in fact a few noodles short of a full Pad Thai (sorry, I had to
test out that joke!). Fortunately, or
unfortunately depending on how you look at it, we were not able to figure out
what the Italian Stallion was raging on about, other than the fact the he had
some type of gruesome leg injury and kept pointing it out to Colleen and
I. This went on for an extended period
of time until the owner thankfully summoned us over to the bar after we had
finished eating and we watched "Guinness World Records" with
him. I never thought that a viewing of
"Guinness World Records" would save me from a dire situation. I always kind of figured it would be the
other way around.
Back at our resort we were greeted by one of the local stray
dogs who was waiting for us outside of our room. Taking pity on him, I decided to feed him
some barbecue chips and a glass of water.
Apparently, malnourished Thai street dogs do in fact not like barbecue
chips and are quite picky about what they eat.
So, instead of eating, the cute, sad-eyed, street dog who walked with a
limp parked himself outside our door for the remainder of the night and waited
for me to give him a non-Frito Lay's based product. But alas, I had nothing else to give and we
shall assume the dog went on to live a happy life.
~Brentski~
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| "Fine, don't eat my barbecue chips you dickhead." |
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