Day 59- Does This Beard Make Me Look Fat?

I must admit, I did enjoy sleeping a nice, proper, luxurious hotel bed, although Colleen and I quickly realized that we probably should not have booked two nights in Chumphon as there was absolutely nothing for visitors to do in the town.  With that in mind, we enjoyed the complimentary breakfast buffet.  I must say, one of the nice perks I have noticed in Thailand is that just about every hotel includes breakfast in the price, which is not only a great money-saver, but is also highly convenient as I do not have to take my half-asleep ass down the street in search of dirty sausage.  After stretching breakfast out for as long as we could, Colleen and I realized that we still had an entire day to kill, so we did all normal people do: shaved my beard into a wide variety of styles and had our very own "Zoolander" style photo shoot.

I call this pose "Magenta Steel".

So dreamy.

Sadly, Colleen would not let me keep any of my new facial trimmings and that afternoon I was forced to venture out into the town sans beard.  Since there was nothing interesting to do, Boss Woman and I decided to take the hotel shuttle to the local shopping centre where we undertook in numerous Thai cultural traditions such as going to "Dairy Queen" and "The Pizza Place".  Sadly, the shuttle would not be returning for another three hours which happened to be about two hours and 45 minutes too long.  I must quickly point out that most of the people in Chumphon were assholes and not particularly friendly.  Colleen insisted they were "creepy", but then again she calls me creepy for insisting that glory holes are a part of everyday modern bathroom culture.  We'll just say everyone happened to be in a grumpy mood that day.  With nothing to do but walk laps around the shitty mall and wait for our shuttle bus, we passed our time watching an obscenely fat Russian woman swat bugs off her tree trunks legs for an extended period of time.  Yup, it was that kind of day.  Naturally, the shuttle was over half an hour late picking us up because being on time in Thailand is just not acceptable behavior.



Kids, where sunscreen or this will happen!



Once we got back from the mall, we just spent the night chilling out at the hotel and counting down the minutes until our ferry out of there the next day.  Oh, and I went for a stroll along the dirtiest beach in the world.  Yup, I LOVE CHUMPHON!

~Brentski~