Saturday, October 16, 2010

Saturday, October 16, 2010 – Just Call Me Employee Of The Year

Immediately upon our arrival at the roadhouse at 10am, Leeanna and I were given the option of starting work that day at 3:00pm. Bob, the manager, had a very strong selling point, and that is, “you’re here to make money, aren’t ya mate?” I couldn’t argue with that statement and therefore we jumped in headfirst. I was told that I would be working in the kitchen and Leeanna would be working on the counter. I almost had a heart attack when I was told this, as I can barely cook Easy Mac let alone trying to cook steaks and fish and other exotic greasy spoon cuisine. Bob reassured me that it would be easy, and it was just like working at a McDonald’s. One problem: I never worked at a McDonald’s or any fast food place for that matter! I did feel a little bit better though when we were told that we would be making $20.50/hour on weekdays and $28.50/hour on weekends, with overtime after 38 hours a week paid out at $30 and $40 respectively. Not bad for working at a gas station if I say so myself!

My first shift, everything seemed like a blur. Having never stepped foot in a kitchen before, it was all a little overwhelming. First thing I was shown is that all of our food is cooked on either a pizza oven, in a microwave, or in a deep fryer. The orders came in fast and furious, and I quickly learned that in this place cooking skills don’t mean shit! The biggest thing was knowing how to stay cool under pressure and how to multi-task and handle lots of different things at the same time. Luckily, all the guys in the kitchen were pretty decent dudes, so they were patient with me and passed on all of their roadhouse wisdom to me.

As ridiculous as it sounds, you would be surprised what you can cook in a pizza oven. We cook all of our burgers, steaks, fish, sausages, bacon, toast, eggs, lamb chops, etc through a pizza oven. It’s really quite easy and fool proof. Now I’m not gonna say we serve the greatest food in the world, but it is certainly edible and to my knowledge I haven’t killed anybody yet. When I one day have a kitchen of my own, I am now contemplating gutting the whole thing and just installing a pizza oven. When life gives you lemons, get a fuckin’ pizza oven!

On that note, the deep fat fryer seems to be a staple of every roadhouse in Australia. If you ever want to be turned off of eating greasy shit just try operating one of these for a few hours. The fryers get used to cook up a ton of gross looking shit I had never seen before that gets displayed in our “hot box” out front. The hot box is basically just a glassed in enclosure full of cheap, quick, hot food that people seem to flock to the Dingo Roadhouse for. Most of it was shit I had never heard of before such as Chicko Rolls, Corn Jacks, Kabanas, Pluto Pups, and my two personal favourites seafood sticks and crumbed sausages. It also has more traditional fare such as French fries, spring rolls, and sausage rolls. Just really nasty shit to put it bluntly. But Australians, and more specifically truckers speak with their stomachs and they say loud and clear that they love the hot box!

As the roadhouse, is a 24-hour facility, there are three different shifts that we were required to work: 7am - 3pm, 3pm – 11pm, and 11pm – 7am. The overnight shift seemed to be the favourite amongst most of the backpackers, as it was never overly busy and you got really good at making bacon and egg muffins (72 a night) and cold cut sandwiches (150 a night). So just a little FYI, if anyone back home is in need of a muffin/sandwich making man, while then I’m your guy! I worked a fairly even balance of all three different shifts, while Leeanna only worked midnights and afternoons. It has led to some really piss poor sleeping schedules, and I am currently writing this at 5am in the morning while drinking beer and eating cereal. On that note, there’s a good chance you won’t see me in a Weetabix commercial anytime soon.

While I mostly slaved away in the kitchen, Leeanna spent most of her days toiling away on the counter. It’s pretty much like working as a store clerk/cleaner/hotel receptionist/waiter all in one. I also had the privilege of being trained and working sporadically on the counter and must say it was much more enjoyable, and decidedly not as hot as the kitchen. In addition to the gross amounts of hot box food most truckers consumed, they also are apparently all big fans of the pornographic magazines. I’m pretty sure that the owner Darren would be able to put his kids through college just on his sales of magazines like Juggs, MILFs in Heat, and Black Tail! I’m sure it gets lonely camping in your trucks at night, but shit how much porno do you really need to own?

After it was all said and done though, nothing too crazy ever really happened at work. Most weeks we worked 40 hours, although some weeks we worked 48 hours and there were a couple of weeks where we only worked four days. Other than that, I did manage to burn myself a ton of times between the insanely hot oven and the deep fat fryer, with my best burn coming when I overflowed the deep fat fryer and the oil went through my shoe. It all happened so fast that I thought my foot was on fire, but I was lucky to escape with just two of the biggest burn blisters you’ve ever seen. I’m sure the customers out front thought that somebody had been shot, as I let out the loudest scream of “FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK” you’ve ever heard. Leeanna’s main entertainment came in the form of truckers hitting on her, and she even managed to get a few invites from the boys wanting to show her their trucks. What exactly “show you my truck” means is still a very debatable point.

With only two shifts left to go in the kitchen at the roadhouse, I can look back and say that I honestly had a good time working there and was also able to save a lot of money between the semi-decent wages and the total lack of places to spend the money. Now there’s only one thing left to do with all the money…head back to the coast and pump it right back into the Australian economy!

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