Saturday, June 5, 2010- I Got Crabs. And Damn They’re Scary!

Since Leeanna and I were having such a great time relaxing and enjoying the lifestyle of the west coast, we decided to hang around for a while. With Zale and Trevor’s blessing, we decided another week’s stay was in order.

To commence the week, the girlfriend and I decided to do what we do best; be lazy. Since it was Monday, Zale and Trevor were at work which gave Leeanna and I free range of the property. Eventually, we decided to go and peruse the shoreline of Mandurah. This was followed by a trip to the bowling alley, where I thoroughly destroyed Leeanna. My scores were less than impressive, but more than enough to slaughter a woman. I mean after all, women ARE second class citizens. That night, Trevor’s nephew Lachlan arrived from the east coast. He’s a good bloke, about twenty years old, who is spending the next six weeks with them over his university holidays. So for the remainder of our time, the house would be more like a hotel, with the five of us living in beautiful harmony, or something to that effect.

After a few fairly relaxed days, Tuesday morning marked the arrival of that time (not Tool Time), tourist time! Leeanna and I grabbed the train into Perth city in the morning with no real idea of what we were actually going to do when we got there. After getting instantly lost (one of my trademark moves), I decided that we should check out something different to what we usually do. Every city seems to have zoos, aquariums, museums, churches, etc, but not every city has a mint/money factory. Thus, we arrived at the Perth Mint and took a tour and learned all about the world of gold manufacturing and how to make silver coins, etc. All very useful information, in case I ever decide to get into the business of printing my own currency. We followed up that with a trip to the Swan Bell Tower, which is basically just a small tower with a bunch of bells in it. I’m still trying to figure out why we paid $11 each to go up the tower, but that shall remain one of life’s great mysteries. Our last stop on the tourist trail was the Perth Botanical Gardens. I have become somewhat of an expert on botanical gardens, and can safely say that Perth has one of the more impressive displays in the country. It featured some great views overlooking the city skyline and an impressive treetop walk. Before catching the train home, we hit up a restaurant called Fast Eddy’s Diner for some chow. Let me tell you I have l have literally never seen a corn beef and rye sandwich come out of a kitchen so fast. Probably not a good thing, but I survived nonetheless.

Wednesday morning we arouse bright and early to catch the twice weekly shuttle bus from Mandurah to the Burswood Casino in Perth. The coach bus left at about 8:30am, and it’s safe to say that Leeanna and I were a bit out of our league; well at least from an age standpoint. Of the eighty or so people on the bus, there was only one other person who appeared to be under 65, and he was well into his 40s. Suffice to say, the seniors were no physical threat and we survived the day. It was actually a pretty fun day out, as our $10 round trip bus ride, also included a $20 buffet lunch (top-notch!) and $3 worth of gambling chips each. Factor in a bus trip that was an hour and a half each way, and you my friend have yourself a good deal. Over the course of the day, Leeanna and I managed to log some time at the blackjack tables, casino war tables, keno, video poker, and video roulette (our favourite). All-in-all, the day ended up costing me $100 bang on, as I decided to keep the bleeding to a minimum for once in my life. I must say it felt great to actually go home from a casino with some money in my pocket for once. Hell hath frozen over.

The next day, I was left on my own to visit Rottnest Island, as Leeanna had no interest in trucking along for my escapades. Rottnest is one of, if not Perth’s top tourist attraction. It is an island that is about 12 kilometres off the coast and is only accessible by ferry. There are very few motor vehicles (a few buses and service vehicles) and the primary means of transportation is by good ole fashioned pedal bikes. Also, outside of birds and reptiles, the only animal present on the island is quokkas. No what is a quokka you ask? Think of a massively overgrown rat that looks like a miniature kangaroo and you pretty much get the picture. Anyways, Thursday morning Zale dropped me off on her way to work all by lonesome self at the pier to catch the ferry out to the island. After arriving on Rottnest, I promptly purchased a bus ticket and rode the bus around the entire circumference of the island and took in all of the now typical amazing Australian views. Since this only took 45 minutes, and I had a full day to kill, my bus ride was swiftly followed by a trip to the bike rental shop and the snorkel rental company. Rottnest is also famous for its coral reefs and snorkel trails, which I figured I would explore. So I took my now getting fatter-by-the-day, out-of-shape ass and started pedaling around the island. I eventually arrived at one of the main snorkelling spots, only to find the beach completely empty. I decided to attempt to brave the waters on my own with my snorkel gear, but was quickly thwarted by the cold water and ferocious waves. I probably only made it out about 30 feet offshore, when I decided, like a little girly man, that I should turn back. Common sense told me that since no one was around for probably miles, it was in my best interest not to start drowning in the ocean. Anyways, after my failed attempt at snorkelling, I biked around the whole island and took a ton of “scenery” pictures. After tucking in for a nice lunch at the only pub on the island, I set back out on my bicycle to once again attempt to snorkel. In short, I again failed out of not wanting to drown on a beach by myself. Clearly, the $20 snorkel rental fee was money not so well spent and would have been a much better investment at the local bottle shop. Late in the afternoon, I finally managed to spot some quokkas in the wild/on the side of the road. I tried to coax them into some model shots, but my efforts seemed to be in vain. To sum it up, I was quite gassed after pedalling over 40 kilometres that day, and was quite relieved and ready to rest when Zale picked me up from the ferry that night. My fitness levels are now at an all-time low. Heart attack seems imminent. To complement my failing heart, Trevor decided to take the whole “family” out for dinner that night to this nice little restaurant on the Mandurah foreshore. Tasty food, and good company, not too much you can ask for in life.

After three solid days on the tourist trail, Friday was a “take it easy” day. Leeanna and I (mostly me) volunteered to cook dinner for Trevor, Zale, and Lachlan. Since we are such amazing cooks, we decided to make chicken fajitas, which were apparently quite foreign to Trevor. To my knowledge, nobody got food poisoning which as far as I’m concerned made the meal a resounding success. The highlight of the day though had to be checking the crab nets which we had put in the water the night before. To those not in the know when it comes to crabbing, basically you just put a net with meat in it in the water and wait for a crab to park its rump in it. You check your nets every so often and more often than not there’s a little bastard with pinchers in there just waiting to be boiled up. Leeanna and I ended up catching a few crabs, although I must ashamedly admit that we were afraid to grab it without Lachlan present. What a couple of pansies we are! We ended up getting our hands on the crabs for some photo opportunities, although we threw them back in the ocean as I am currently campaigning to head up the Australian chapter of PETA.