Our last day in Melbourne saw both of us working at our jobs, as we are both poor and need money to travel, so we had to work right up until the end. My last shift at the Medici was pretty unspectacular and mostly consisted of me slacking off and counting down the minutes until my retirement. I even managed to get in trouble a few times for being a chatty Kathy! Anyways, a few of us at work, including the boss, had planned to have some drinks at The Lounge Hotel which was conveniently located next door to the restaurant and had the same owners. This quite obviously led to mucho free drinks, although in keeping my promise to my girlfriend, I did not get “retarded” drunk. After closing down the Lounge Hotel, myself, Kurk, and Kristen decided to hit up the Crown Casino for some more drinks and to find our friend Nick. We never did find Nick, but I did manage to find the bar and place one last bet on the roulette table. Ironically I won that bet, something that seemed to elude me the entire time I was in Melbourne. Oh, the cruel irony.
Saturday was official move out day, which naturally for me meant time to sleep in and see how fast I can pack up my bags and rush to the train station. After not-so carefully packing up our knapsacks and throwing out lots of stuff that we could not take on the road with us (we are backpackers after all!), Leeanna and I boarded a train to the super-happening town of Seymour located about an hour’s ride north of Melbourne in rural Victoria. Totally irrelevant to the story but I managed to spot two mobs of kangaroos from the train window. Woot woot! Quite obviously, this trip had a purpose, and that was to catch-up with my parent’s long lost friend Vanda and her partner Peter. My parents/roommates, Dawn and Brian, had met Vanda and her sister Zale about twenty-five years ago when they were travelling Europe and had become fast friends. This friendship inevitably led to my parents visiting Australia and Vanda and Zale both visiting Canada on separate occasions. Although everyone lost touch over the years, thanks to the magical world of Facebook all were able to reconnect and what do you know next thing Leeanna and I are meeting Vanda at a train station and mooching accommodations off of her! I was hoping Vanda would be holding a sign saying Mr. Moreau, like the limo drivers at the airport, but I guess that was just wishful thinking. After picking us up, our new hosts took Leeanna and I out for a bite to eat at a quaint little country store and restaurant before taking us back to their horse farm, which to put it bluntly was in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere! There was nothing but horses and cows as far as the eye could see. In addition to about twenty horses, they also had three cats, two dogs, a cockatoo with a broken wing, and wide assortment of turkeys, chickens and roosters. This place was hands down the most country thing I had seen this side of a Toby Keith concert. Leeanna and I were introduced to the horses before being treated to a delicious dinner featuring a lamb roast. This was promptly followed by Vanda, Peter, and myself polishing off six bottles of wine (Leeanna wasn’t in much of a drinkin’ mood) and probably talking about nothing relevant at all.
Sunday morning, Leeanna and I were woken up at 4am by the rooster. Apparently Vanda and Peter can’t hear the thing, but it is super fuckin’ annoying and went on for over two hours. The worst part was that the rooster didn’t even sound like the rooster in the movies, but more like a dying swan (or what I imagine a dying swan to sound like). When we finally did get up and about, Vanda took us to a proper country bar/restaurant that was about an hour away from their homestead. We quickly learned that their house was close to nothing, with the exception of other farms and livestock. We had a nice lunch at the foothills of Mount Buller, surrounded by pictures from some Kurk Douglas movie that made the area famous (something about Snowy Mountain). The restaurant also featured a fair bit of Ned Kelly memorabilia (think Australian Jesse James, and not the Sandra Bullock one!), as he was from the area and his gang had robbed banks nearby. That night everyone but Leeanna packed it in early, me because I tire easily, and Vanda and Peter because they had to get up at like 4am to take their horses to the track in Seymour for training.\
Sunday night we slept a lot better as we were able to obtain a fan that we set-up near our heads to drown out the sound of the rooster that I was convinced we should just shoot and use as snake bait. That morning, Peter showed me my first proper venomous Australian creature in the form of a red-back spider. It was pretty uneventful, as the spider was about the size of a dime and met a swift death at the hands of Peter’s pocket knife. Apparently, their property is rife with a wide assortment of creatures including various poisonous spiders, brown snakes (highly venomous), kangaroos, wombats, and even koalas. While we were regaled by our hosts with their stories of snake encounters, dodging kangaroos on the road, and koalas walking around their front porch, Leeanna and I were unable to find any of these critters and instead had to entertain ourselves with the horses. Must have been the cold weather, or the fact that the animals don’t like foreigners, I’m still not sure which one it is. Also that morning, Leeanna and I took the ATV (4-wheeler) for a boot around some of the horse stables, during which time Leeanna was convinced the horses were going to try and attack and us and rip us to shreds. Not surprisingly, this never happened and we lived long enough to go out to lunch and to do some shopping with Vanda and Peter in the booming metropolis of Euroa. It was another hick town that was made famous by Ned Kelly, but had a ton of charm and the most ridiculous dilapidated hotel-bar that we went into for kicks after lunch. I happened to run into the owner, who happened to be about 196 years old and told me she was going to get the bar all fixed up nice. I’m pretty sure she’s been telling customers this since the 1920s. When I told her I was from Canada, she replied, “let me guess, ‘Sleepless in Seattle’”! I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Seattle was in fact an American city and that I hate Meg Ryan movies. God bless her soul that lady. After returning to the farm that night, we had some delicious chicken kiev which we promptly followed up with some heavy drinking and chatting yet again. This would have been a good idea, if not for the fact that Vanda and Peter were supposed to get up at like 4am to get the horses ready for the six-time weekly trip to the track!
Naturally, everyone slept in the next morning, as multiple bottles of wine followed by little sleep will tend to have this effect on people. The girlfriend and I were scheduled to pick-up our campervan in Melbourne later that morning, so we hitched a ride into Seymour with Vanda and Peter. After what I’m sure was a torturous drive to the track for Vanda (see head pains), we were treated to some behind the scenes workings of thoroughbred racing. We watched a few of the horses go through various training runs and defecate frequently before being whisked off to the train station and saying our goodbyes. It was sad to say goodbye, especially when we had been treated and got on so well, but as they say in Bollywood the show must go on!
Next up…the road trip from one side of Australia to the other, or as Leeanna calls it “FUCK MY LIFE!”. (Her life, not mine, I love this shit!).
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment