Captain’s Log (21:00 hours): It is currently so hot my testicles feel like they’ve been glued to my inner thighs. My girlfriend and I sit here, with our twenty dollar fan blowing hot air, watching episodes of “Grey’s Anatomy” that already aired in Canada last year. This is what I left the comforts of my roommate’s house (and by roommates I mean parents!) for, to experience Australia and all of its beautiful glory/heat/stereotypes! Well, that and the fact that I wanted to run away from real life and all that is associated with it.
Turning a complete 180 degrees though, life has been pretty eventful during our first two months in our own habitat. Sure we sleep with a mattress on the floor with my head practically resting against the refrigerator. And I mean yeah, who wouldn’t complain about sleeping in +40°C heat? But if there was anything I could change I can honestly say aside from my hairdresser and small bank account, there isn’t a thing! So what exactly has happened over the last little while to Brent the Former Town Drunk and LeeBee the Drama Queen? Stay tuned to my next three blogs to find out, or if you wish, surf on over to TMZ.com for some much more entertaining celebrity news involving Perez Hilton and K-Fed on Celebrity Fat Club.
As when you settle anywhere for more than a few days, rituals start to become a part of your life, whether you like it or not. One ritual/favourite activity Leeanna and I have developed is our love of bowling. More specifically I guess you could say my love of bowling and Leeanna’s love of nice bowling shoes and a solid air-conditioning system. Over the last little while we have been bowling a bunch of times and I feel as though my game has been steadily improving. In fact last night, I bowled the best game of my Australian career with a gorgeous 164. Slap my ass and sign me up for the PBA!
Another activity I started to enjoy a little too much was poker. It was very easy when I was bored to just walk across the street to the Crown Casino and the southern hemisphere’s largest poker room. After many sessions with varied results, I decided that if I hit $1000 in gambling losses in Australia I would cease to play poker anymore. Well, I hit that plateau and true to my word have not stepped foot in the poker room in a few weeks. It’s been tough, I won’t lie, cause if there’s one thing I love more than ice cream and beer it’s poker…wait scratch that I mean my girlfriend…no wait, it’s pudding. Banana pudding is my one true love. End of discussion. Looking back, poker has been a lot of fun in Australia and even provided me the opportunity to play against a few people who were on TV and introduce my girlfriend to the game for the first time. God bless the Crown Casino!
On the cuisine front, Leeanna and I are both really plain eaters. Translation: we both eat a lot of boring fast food, processed food, and shit I bring home from work. Melbourne is one of these world-renowned cities for its restaurant and café scene. On that note, I’m pretty sure the most exotic thing we’ve eaten is pasta and steaks. Sooner or later I’m going to convince Leeanna to purchase kangaroo filets which we stroll past every week in the grocery store. I imagine it to being similar to eating venison, although I have nothing to reference this against and it is probably just wishful thinking more than anything. We do go out to the occasional restaurant not-named McDonald’s or Subway, most notably the Pancake Parlour. It’s this joint that reminds me of Golden Griddle back in the day and serves delicious breakfast food all day and night. Nothing hits the sweet spot like a stack of pancakes and a blueberry float. A few weeks ago, Leeanna and I also had an overwhelming urge for some good old fashioned chicken wings. Apparently wings aren’t that easy to come by in Melbourne. Eventually after some tough internet research (yes, I had to research where you could find chicken wings in a city of four million people), Leeanna and I found a place about a half an hour away. Well they weren’t the greatest wings, and the fact that they only had three flavours was a little suspect, it did hit the spot. More often than not though, we eat pizza that I bring home from work. Nothing helps you pack on the weight like pizza five nights a week. Yummy! On a semi-related note, I have discovered the deliciousness that is egg as a pizza topping. It now ranks only second on my list to pepperoni, or as the Aussies call it, hot salami. Bon appetite!
One great thing about relocating to Australia as opposed to a non-English speaking country is the fact that I can still go to the movies (foreign films were only cool to me when I was in film school). One down side is the fact that many movies come out here a lot later than they do in North America. In fact, last night we just saw this new movie they released here called “Cool Runnings” starring John Candy and a bunch of Jamaicans bobsledding. Word on the street is that this movie came out like fifteen years ago. On a more serious note we’ve seen “Avatar 3D” (8.5/10), “The Lovely Bones” (7/10), and just today watched “Invictus” (8/10). Movies are not a cheap affair here, as most theatres charge $17-$18 for general admission and they all have VIP screens that charge anywhere from $25-$40. Can you say ridiculous? At least they still have Cheap Tuesday, although their discount day costs as much as our full-priced admissions. In related news, since I dragged Leeanna to see “Invictus”, word on the street is that I will have the privilege of taking in the sure to be best movie of all-time next week “Valentine’s Day”. I’m sure that will be one to remember. I mean how bad can a movie starring Ashton Kutcher and Taylor Swift be? Really!?!?!?
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Hey Buddy Ive Heard The Kangaroo meat is really good and lean.. just a thought - Laura
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