Wednesday morning it was time to keep the amusement park express moving and we promptly took our Season’s Pass to one of the Gold Coast’s most well-known parks, Sea World. Being the amusement park superstar that I am, the first thing we did upon our arrival was attempt to see as many of the shows as possible. Within the first few hours, I had managed to drag Leeanna along to the sting ray feeding, the penguin feeding, Happy Feet in 3D, the dolphin show, Pirates Unleashed, and last but certainly not least the Fish Detectives show starring what I can only presume are some of the smartest sea lions in the southern hemisphere. After some gnarly $10 hot dogs, we decided what better time to check out the few rides on offer than with a full stomach. Luckily for my gastrointestinal tract, none of the rides on offer were overly intense and we safely survived the one roller coaster, a flume ride and a small Jet Ski coaster called Jet Rescue that Leeanna loved so much she made me ride it three times! Other than those three, the only other “ride” on offer if you will was the Sky High Skyway which was basically a ski lift ride over the park that was more my speed. The real stars at Sea World though are the animals, and there was definitely no shortage of them. In addition to the ones we saw in the shows, we also tiger sharks, bull sharks, baby dolphins, and Canada’s most beloved export, polar bears (lazy bastards)! There were also some good hands on experiences, as you were allowed to pet giant sting rays and touch things like sea stars and star fish. By the end of the day, it was safe to say that we were both wiped out and had taken enough videos and pictures to make a bus load of Japanese tourists proud! In fact, I was so gassed that I almost didn’t notice when my lasagne almost burnt down our hotel room. Now that would’ve been a story!
November 4th was to be Leeanna’s last full day in Australia, and try as might I could not convince her to come to the water park Wet ‘n Wild with me. Being the 26-year old loser that I am, I decided to head to the water park on my own, as I could not in my conscience let my pass go to waste. Turns out, Leeanna probably made the right decision by not going, as it poured rain the entire time I was there and to be honest, a no-shirt party in the rain by yourself at a water park is just not as cool as it sounds. There was one notable slide at the park that I must mention, the Aqualoop, which reaches speeds of up to 60 kilometres an hour and takes you almost completely upside down. It was the most intense water slide ever. End of discussion. Look it up on YouTube if you don’t believe me. In the end though, I ended up staying less than two hours, as the weather was shit, lots of slides were closed, and many of the ones that were open required multiple riders at the same time (insert Brent feeling sorry for himself). Feeling dejected about my bad day at the water park, I marched my ass back to the resort and proceeded to help Leeanna pack all her shit (and lots of mine that I was forcing her to take), for her flight home the next morning. In honour of our love of the great Australian institute, the Pancake Parlour, we decided it would be fitting to have some flapjacks for Leeanna’s last supper. Naturally I had to order the all-you-can-eat with a beer on the side, and was left feeling like a beached whale afterwards. We capped the night off with a visit to the arcade (I’m not cool, this I know), where we proceeded to play such awesome games as Deal or No Deal, Arcade Basketball, and Guitar Hero. Not exactly the most thrilling last night, but by that point, she had seen it all and done it all! Plus as a bonus, we were able to use our arcade tickets to scoop up some pretty sweet souvenirs including a classy golf ball set! After taking a cab home because I had lost our bus tickets (and later found at home damn it!), we forced ourselves to drink the rest of the alcohol in our fridge, as we would be checking out in the morning, and let’s be real you can’t let that shit go to waste!
Friday morning was a bit of a rough start as I had to get up at 6:00am, not an ideal time to wake up when you were drinking and went to bed after 2:00am. With that in mind, I did manage to see Leeanna off to the airport and wish her safe travels from the comfort of my pyjama pants! So as Leeanna’s journey came to an end, mine was just getting warmed up, as I still had to survive close to two weeks with my younger, harder partying brother, Kiel. After packing up all of my stuff at the hotel I called home and was informed by my mom that Kiel would not be arriving that day as he had intended, as he had not been able to get on a flight out of Vancouver. With that in mind, I took the short bus ride to Brisbane and checked into my eight person room at the hostel (Bunk Brisbane [6.5/10]). Since this whole trip began almost a year earlier, I had not had to stay in large share rooms as I had been travelling with my girlfriend, who thankfully enjoyed privacy. But since my brother wanted to save money, meet people, party, and make an ass of himself in the bars, he had convinced me to stay in larger rooms. It looked like I was off to a bad start on my own; my room was full of a bunch of German dudes who looked like they were living there and had some really rank smelling clothes and stuff spread out everywhere. Since I had a day to kill on my own before my brother showed up, I decided to indulge in my addiction and headed straight downtown for the Treasury Casino. I ended up settling in at a fairly social $2/$4 No-Limit table that had a good assortment of characters. There also happened to be a couple of Ontario boys at the table who I got along with quite well. In a total six degrees of separation moment, the one guy, Sonny, asked me where I was from and when I told him, he proceeded to name drop my sister’s best friend as someone he knew! Next thing I knew, it was the middle of the night and Sonny and I had pounded back a ton of beers and were both somehow up a good amount of money. Next thing I knew, it was almost 5:00am and I had been playing for over fifteen hours straight, without eating or doing anything other than drinking, gambling, and urinating! My last hand of the night saw me get it all in pre-flop with three other players with me holding pocket aces. Naturally, I lost, but for once had been smart enough to pull some money off the table so I wouldn’t go broke. In conclusion, after fifteen hours, I had broken out even, although if you count the beers I bought with my chips I was probably up over $100 (Brent’s version of math). I decided to reward my efforts with a 5:30am drunk-as-a-skunk visit to McDonald’s for some breakfast before returning to my room. As luck would have it, in addition to the terrible smell in my room, there was also an ugly trollish-looking German girl sleeping on the top bunk of my bed, who looked like some kind of ugly Gremlin mutation. She kept staring at my drunken ass like she wanted to kill or eat me (are Gremlins allowed to eat at 6:00am?), and to make matters worse decided to roll around on the top bunk all morning like some kind of Parkinson’s inflicted baboon. God save me.
Shortly after I sauntered in from my gambling and drinking binge, I decided that sleep was going to be impossible. With that in mind, I dragged my ass out bed with less than two hours of shut eye. Kiel was scheduled to be arriving some time that morning, but I had no idea when and was pretty certain he would forget to call me. Taking that in to account, I decided to head out and take my drunk/turning into a hangover body out into the world. I made my way to City Hall where there was supposed to be a walking tour of the city on offer, but after waiting with a few other people for over half an hour, it was clear that the guide was not showing up. Being the go-getter that I am, I decided to organize my own one man walking tour and checked out most of the sights in Brisbane by myself. Feeling confident after a few hours of walking that I had covered most of the bases, I returned to the hostel, when low and behold, Kiel Moreau is standing there in the lobby with a beard that would’ve made Grizzly Adams proud! For most people, this may not seem like much, but as long as I can remember Kiel has always been clean-shaven and/or unable to grow anything but a few pubic looking soul patches on his face. It was clear; he was now truly a man. After setting him up in our room, we went out for some afternoon beers to catch up on life and all that I have missed in his life back home and vice versa. After walking off our afternoon delight, we headed to our hostel’s bar, Birdee Num Num (the one good thing about the hostel), for some more beers and pizza. Shortly thereafter, I am pretty sure we were both slizzored, and the last thing I remember was leaving Kiel on the dance floor dropping some ridiculous moves before I stumbled back to my bunk bed for the second night in a row. I’m pretty sure it was around this time that I had an epiphany... I was going to be in for some rough nights in the coming week.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010- Some People Sleep With Women, This Body Prefers Bed Bugs.
The day before Halloween (FYI: trick-or-treating is not a big a deal in Australia), was a day of highs and lows on the monetary front. First, the negative. After calling home that morning to talk with my brother and try and get his visit sorted out for the following week, I became embroiled in a discussion with my all-knowing mother who informed me that I MUST go to the doctor’s office and get my full-body-consuming bites looked at. Seeing as how I was still doped up from the three anti-histamines mixed with booze that I had consumed the night before, I gave in to her demands from the other side of the world. I had become quite proud of my streak of almost 365 days without seeing a doctor, but alas it was to come to an end. Leeanna escorted me to the doctor’s office, where I paid $65 for a two minute visit with the doc, who told me what I already knew, that they were probably bug bites. What a fucking genius! He cut me three prescriptions; one cream, one steroid, and one itch relief pill, and what do you know my pockets where another $75 lighter. The moral of the story kids, don’t sleep with bugs in your bed. Hot women and strippers; okay. Bed bugs; no dice. With my day already costing me a bit more than I had anticipated, I caught a break when Leeanna and I went to go mini-putting at King Tutt’s Putt Putt. Luckily for me, the guy at the counter wasn’t too swift (at least as far as mini-putt men go) and he decided to give me change from the $50 bill that I never handed to him. Therefore, we got a free round of mini-putt and about $30 handed to us for a nice tidy profit of $50. If only all mini-putt courses did this, they wouldn’t struggle so much for patronage! In the end, Leeanna and I ended up tying the first game with me naturally winning the second in a landslide, because let’s face it I am an animal with a putter in my hand and I really wasn’t trying the first game. To celebrate my victory, Leeanna and I headed back to the hotel, where I forced her to make me a BBQ by the pool and think about all that she did wrong on the mini-putt course!
Sunday morning I woke up very early, which had become a common theme for me, as the bug bites all over my body made it extremely difficult to sleep for long periods of time. With Leeanna still in a coma, I decided to take a very long beach walk and to book an early Sunday morning haircut. Upon my return home, I was still feeling extra spry and for the first time in my life (yes, life) I tried to make bacon and eggs. Needless to say it was not a total disaster, but if someone even tried to charge me $2 for that in a restaurant I would tell them to shove the burnt bacon up their ass. Next up on the busy day’s agenda was to head over to the suburb of Southport by bus and try and find a discount shoe factory store I had read about. I guess somehow, I just figured that we would stumble across it, but alas it was not to meant to be. Eventually Leeanna convinced me to give up and we ended up walking around forever trying to find a bus to take us back to the part of town we were slightly more familiar with. Luckily, the bus route back happened to take us right by a huge mall (although sadly it did not have a discount shoe factory store), where I proceeded to significantly update my wardrobe for the first time in almost a year. I ended up spending a few hundred dollars on three shirts, two pairs of shorts, a pair of shoes, some books, and my personal favourite, a Buffalo Sabres windbreaker that was on special for $10. I somehow doubt that Sabres merchandise sells too well Down Under, or anywhere, Buffalo included for that matter. This was not to be the end of our shopping though, as that evening we went out to all the Asian-run souvenir shops to purchase some last minute shit, I mean souvenirs, for Leeanna to take home. Still not feeling we had spent enough money for one Halloween, I treated Leeanna to one last “classy” dinner in Australia at some restaurant called Sage. I must say the food was excellent and all that jazz, but if there is one thing I will not miss at all about Australia, it’s the poor customer service you generally receive in restaurants. More than anything, I think this can be put down to the fact that it is not a gratuity-based business like it is in Canada, and this in turn causes waiters to not really give a fuck! Aside from the dodgy service, it was a tremendous meal, which we unfortunately had to walk off when we arrived back at our resort to discover that the power had gone out! Nothing settles a steak and beer quite like a solid stair climb at 11:00pm!
The next morning with our power fully restored and me not being allowed to cook, I went on a mission to try and sort our income tax and superannuation (pension) situation. From talking to other backpackers, we believed we would be entitled to a large chunk of our taxes back, which sounded pretty enticing as we had both been taxed close to $4500 each in the last fifteen weeks. We made our way over to an accountants where were promptly informed by some moron that we were not entitled to a refund because we were non-residents and would in fact owe money. I knew that he was wrong, as we were residents for tax purposes, but I could not be bothered arguing, so I just gathered up my stuff and out we went. Unfortunately, this led us to have to contact taxback.com, a website that specializes in backpacker tax refunds but also charges ridiculously high rates. Seeing as how we were running out of time though before Leeanna left the country, we had no option and set about making things happen. In the end, we learned that we would both be getting refunds estimated in the range of $3500, but that was after taxback.com took their fees which I believe were close to $400 each for the two of us! In addition to paying the highest ever rate for a tax return, I believe I also set a record for the most money spent in internet cafes in one day, with $20 being spread over three locations trying to figure out our taxes and my brother’s travel plans as he was due to arrive from Canada later in the week. Now that our taxes were all sorted, we could relax and that night we went to where Brent always goes to let off steam, the casino. Apparently, Jupiter’s Casino was the place to be on a Monday night, as the place was insanely busy. The money wheel was six people deep all around and you could all but forget about finding a decently priced blackjack table! Now I’ve been to Las Vegas numerous times, and believe me, the casinos there don’t look anything like this on a Monday. After having a few drinks at the bar, Leeanna and I ended up playing a bit of digital blackjack and roulette before packing it in for the night after we lost all our early profits but were still even for the night. One other random side note from the evening was the copious amount of Asian people consuming loads of alcohol. As someone who frequents casinos, I know that there are tons of Asians in casinos all over the world, but for the most part they are not large drinkers. On the Gold Coast, it seemed I had entered another world. Totally random fact, I know, and one hundred percent useless to the forward movement of this blog, but I somehow felt it necessary to mention.
Since we were starting to run out of time on the Gold Coast, Tuesday morning was time for us to do the one pre-requisite thing you must do when you visit the area; hit up the amusement parks. Leeanna and I decided to purchase a Season’s Pass for $100 which would give us unlimited access to three theme parks for a year, although we really only needed it for the next three days! It was well worth it though, as admission to the park we were going to that day, Warner Brother’s Movie World, had a price tag of $70 for one day entry! Movie World can best be described as a much smaller version of Canada’s Wonderland, although it definitely had better props and characters throughout the park with Looney Tunes being the overriding theme. Most of the rides were named after movies, such as the Lethal Weapon roller coaster, Batman Sling Shot, Wild West Falls, and our personal favourite, the Superman roller coaster. Superman was actually quite unique in that unlike any other roller coaster I had ever been on, it shots you at the beginning of the ride and you accelerate up a super-steep hill, instead of the slow descent you usually encounter on roller coasters. There were also some good shows that we saw during the day, including one featuring bunch of Hollywood stunt car drivers doing some crazy tricks in their cars and jumping through fire and shit like that. We also caught the “Journey to the Centre of the Earth” 4-D show, and for anyone wondering what the fourth “D” is, well it’s pretty much just water being shot and misted at you from the back of the seat in front of you. Either way, it was a great day, although the two highlights for me had nothing to do with rides. The first was early in the day when I discovered frozen, chocolate covered bananas. Simply put: delicious. The second, which was funny for everyone but me occurred when I was standing in line to get my Season’s Pass picture taken and a giant, and believe me I mean giant, spider fell out of an overhead vent and landed in my hair! At first I thought my hair was brushing up against a plant or something behind me, but I quickly noticed a giant arachnid scurrying down my body. This led me to jump around like a mad man and let out a loud series of expletives in front of a large number of young children. Let’s just say that if my mother was there she would have threatened me with the bar of soap like it was 1990 all over again. After my traumatic experience with the spider that day, it was nice to finally see my bites going down a bit that night, although the girlfriend didn’t seem to notice, as her Kardashian addiction was now in full overdrive and she could not get enough Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney. Okay, maybe I watch it too!
Sunday morning I woke up very early, which had become a common theme for me, as the bug bites all over my body made it extremely difficult to sleep for long periods of time. With Leeanna still in a coma, I decided to take a very long beach walk and to book an early Sunday morning haircut. Upon my return home, I was still feeling extra spry and for the first time in my life (yes, life) I tried to make bacon and eggs. Needless to say it was not a total disaster, but if someone even tried to charge me $2 for that in a restaurant I would tell them to shove the burnt bacon up their ass. Next up on the busy day’s agenda was to head over to the suburb of Southport by bus and try and find a discount shoe factory store I had read about. I guess somehow, I just figured that we would stumble across it, but alas it was not to meant to be. Eventually Leeanna convinced me to give up and we ended up walking around forever trying to find a bus to take us back to the part of town we were slightly more familiar with. Luckily, the bus route back happened to take us right by a huge mall (although sadly it did not have a discount shoe factory store), where I proceeded to significantly update my wardrobe for the first time in almost a year. I ended up spending a few hundred dollars on three shirts, two pairs of shorts, a pair of shoes, some books, and my personal favourite, a Buffalo Sabres windbreaker that was on special for $10. I somehow doubt that Sabres merchandise sells too well Down Under, or anywhere, Buffalo included for that matter. This was not to be the end of our shopping though, as that evening we went out to all the Asian-run souvenir shops to purchase some last minute shit, I mean souvenirs, for Leeanna to take home. Still not feeling we had spent enough money for one Halloween, I treated Leeanna to one last “classy” dinner in Australia at some restaurant called Sage. I must say the food was excellent and all that jazz, but if there is one thing I will not miss at all about Australia, it’s the poor customer service you generally receive in restaurants. More than anything, I think this can be put down to the fact that it is not a gratuity-based business like it is in Canada, and this in turn causes waiters to not really give a fuck! Aside from the dodgy service, it was a tremendous meal, which we unfortunately had to walk off when we arrived back at our resort to discover that the power had gone out! Nothing settles a steak and beer quite like a solid stair climb at 11:00pm!
The next morning with our power fully restored and me not being allowed to cook, I went on a mission to try and sort our income tax and superannuation (pension) situation. From talking to other backpackers, we believed we would be entitled to a large chunk of our taxes back, which sounded pretty enticing as we had both been taxed close to $4500 each in the last fifteen weeks. We made our way over to an accountants where were promptly informed by some moron that we were not entitled to a refund because we were non-residents and would in fact owe money. I knew that he was wrong, as we were residents for tax purposes, but I could not be bothered arguing, so I just gathered up my stuff and out we went. Unfortunately, this led us to have to contact taxback.com, a website that specializes in backpacker tax refunds but also charges ridiculously high rates. Seeing as how we were running out of time though before Leeanna left the country, we had no option and set about making things happen. In the end, we learned that we would both be getting refunds estimated in the range of $3500, but that was after taxback.com took their fees which I believe were close to $400 each for the two of us! In addition to paying the highest ever rate for a tax return, I believe I also set a record for the most money spent in internet cafes in one day, with $20 being spread over three locations trying to figure out our taxes and my brother’s travel plans as he was due to arrive from Canada later in the week. Now that our taxes were all sorted, we could relax and that night we went to where Brent always goes to let off steam, the casino. Apparently, Jupiter’s Casino was the place to be on a Monday night, as the place was insanely busy. The money wheel was six people deep all around and you could all but forget about finding a decently priced blackjack table! Now I’ve been to Las Vegas numerous times, and believe me, the casinos there don’t look anything like this on a Monday. After having a few drinks at the bar, Leeanna and I ended up playing a bit of digital blackjack and roulette before packing it in for the night after we lost all our early profits but were still even for the night. One other random side note from the evening was the copious amount of Asian people consuming loads of alcohol. As someone who frequents casinos, I know that there are tons of Asians in casinos all over the world, but for the most part they are not large drinkers. On the Gold Coast, it seemed I had entered another world. Totally random fact, I know, and one hundred percent useless to the forward movement of this blog, but I somehow felt it necessary to mention.
Since we were starting to run out of time on the Gold Coast, Tuesday morning was time for us to do the one pre-requisite thing you must do when you visit the area; hit up the amusement parks. Leeanna and I decided to purchase a Season’s Pass for $100 which would give us unlimited access to three theme parks for a year, although we really only needed it for the next three days! It was well worth it though, as admission to the park we were going to that day, Warner Brother’s Movie World, had a price tag of $70 for one day entry! Movie World can best be described as a much smaller version of Canada’s Wonderland, although it definitely had better props and characters throughout the park with Looney Tunes being the overriding theme. Most of the rides were named after movies, such as the Lethal Weapon roller coaster, Batman Sling Shot, Wild West Falls, and our personal favourite, the Superman roller coaster. Superman was actually quite unique in that unlike any other roller coaster I had ever been on, it shots you at the beginning of the ride and you accelerate up a super-steep hill, instead of the slow descent you usually encounter on roller coasters. There were also some good shows that we saw during the day, including one featuring bunch of Hollywood stunt car drivers doing some crazy tricks in their cars and jumping through fire and shit like that. We also caught the “Journey to the Centre of the Earth” 4-D show, and for anyone wondering what the fourth “D” is, well it’s pretty much just water being shot and misted at you from the back of the seat in front of you. Either way, it was a great day, although the two highlights for me had nothing to do with rides. The first was early in the day when I discovered frozen, chocolate covered bananas. Simply put: delicious. The second, which was funny for everyone but me occurred when I was standing in line to get my Season’s Pass picture taken and a giant, and believe me I mean giant, spider fell out of an overhead vent and landed in my hair! At first I thought my hair was brushing up against a plant or something behind me, but I quickly noticed a giant arachnid scurrying down my body. This led me to jump around like a mad man and let out a loud series of expletives in front of a large number of young children. Let’s just say that if my mother was there she would have threatened me with the bar of soap like it was 1990 all over again. After my traumatic experience with the spider that day, it was nice to finally see my bites going down a bit that night, although the girlfriend didn’t seem to notice, as her Kardashian addiction was now in full overdrive and she could not get enough Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney. Okay, maybe I watch it too!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Friday, October29, 2010- Steve Irwin. Half Man. Half Legend.
After barely surviving a bird attack the night before, Leeanna and I were up bright and early on Tuesday morning for our tour of the world famous (okay, Australia famous) Fraser Island. Now what exactly is Fraser Island you ask? Well, the long and short of it is that Fraser Island is the world’s largest sand island and is the reason Hervey Bay has become such a major tourist destination on the east coast. Our tour bus picked us up bright and early, at which time we found out there would only be six people on the tour that day, us and a group of four seniors! Apparently, the tour company had booked out 24 of their 30 available seats for a group, but when one of their two buses went down, they had to cancel the group. Enter the six of us! While one bus was in the shop, the one we were riding on didn’t look much better. The bus driver informed us that the air conditioning was not working and the 4-wheel drive was acting up. In addition to that, there was a huge crack in one of the windows on the side door. Now, I’m no expert on driving on sand islands, but I’m pretty sure 4-wheel drive is almost a necessity. Upon arriving at the island after our ferry ride over, the six of us boarded into our bus and were headed to one of the island’s famous lakes, when low and behold our bus got stuck! The driver tried feverishly to get the car down the sand road but to no avail. With 2-wheel drive it just wasn’t happening! I was starting to get the impression that it was going to be a long day. Having given up on the idea of visiting the lake, the driver escorted us to some of the island’s other attractions, including a shipwreck, rainforest walk, Eli Creek (creek you can walk through with really clear water), and the Pinnacles (goofy rocks with a bunch of crazy colours and shit). All very marvellous stuff to look at, although it would have been better with the comfort of air-conditioning between stops. Everyone who has been to Fraser Island knows that it is also famous for its large population of dingoes. Naturally, since everything went so swimmingly for us, we managed to spot exactly zero dingoes all day, and instead had to settle for seeing about 5000 dead birds that had all washed on shore and had apparently died during their migration due to a massive storm. After making it through most of the day on our sub-par tour, our driver randomly decided during afternoon tea that our bus was no longer safe enough to drive across the island because of the crack in the door window. Talk about the icing on the cake! We were then informed that we would have to flown off the island by some bush pilot that they were summoning to come rescue us. Low and behold, an hour later a plane is landing on the beach (yes, the beach!) and a pilot emerges wearing dirty clothes and no shoes. Not what we all had in mind, but as they say, beggars can’t be choosers. Next thing we know, the six of us are boarding the plane and taking off down the runway, sorry I mean beach. The people who were on the tour with us were really pissed off and vowed that they were going to file a complaint with the company. I on the other hand found it all quite comical and was trying to look at the positive side by remarking that we had at least gotten a free scenic flight over the island! After safely landing on an actual tarmac runway, we were met by a waiting taxicab that escorted us back to our accommodations and far away from the barefoot pilot. That night, the owner of the hostel, Gary, asked us how our tour went and I could not resist telling him about all the mishaps. Turns out, Gary was also quite pissed off and vowed to call the company the next day and try and get us a refund. The tour may not have gone as planned, but I must say it was one day tour I was not going to be forgetting anytime soon!
After checking out of our hostel the next day, it was off to the bus station to catch a ride down to the swank town of Noosa, which is located on what the Aussies call the Sunshine Coast. It also happens to be close to Steve Irwin’s Australia Zoo, which was the main reason we were going there. I’m pretty sure Leeanna’s whole mission in life (other than to have a nice base tan) has been to visit the Australia Zoo, so there were no ifs, ands, or buts about us going there. That morning, as we were about to board our bus, we ran into the senior from our tour the day before and learned that they bitched to the company and ended up getting their money back. They insisted that I call right away (which I did) and wouldn’t you know it, Miss Leeanna and I were on our way to each receiving a $165 refund! A nice turn-around from the day before I must say. With my smile still on my face from receiving my refund, we arrived in Noosa and checked into our hostel (Noosa Backapackers Resort [8/10]). We spent the remainder of the day walking around town and checking out all the mega-huge houses owned by the rich and not-so-famous before heading over to Noosa National Park to participate in Brent’s favourite activity... nature walks! I must say, at least we were rewarded by seeing one koala in the wild on our nature walk and some remarkable coast line, although I’m sure to Leeanna it’s all the same shit as nature walks just ain’t her bag! That evening I promptly felt the urge to order pizza and beers and put on ten times as many calories as I had burned off that day. I also started to notice that my body was getting quite itchy and was covered in bites. Can you say bed bugs anyone?
The next morning, we were back on the tourist trail, determined to spend our hard-earned Australian dollars. It was off to the aforementioned Australia Zoo (home of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter), which has grown from a rinky-dink reptile park to one of the busiest and most well-known tourist attractions in the country. Seeing as how it’s located in the middle of nowhere though, we had to catch the complimentary shuttle. This was no ordinary shuttle bus though; it was one that played episodes of the Crocodile Hunter non-stop! Crikey! The zoo itself was actually pretty standard, and if anything I must honestly say it was a little small (especially for the inflated admission price). Most of the animals on display were of the Australian variety, with the exception of some of the more famous animals, such as tigers, elephants, etc. What they lacked in size though, I must say they more than made up for in other areas. For starters, the assortment of things dedicated to Steve Irwin, in addition to lots memorabilia and artefacts was truly great to see. Also, the zoo offered lots of interactive shows and feedings. We watched the tortoise feeding (insert own joke), the otter feeding, got to pet koalas and kangaroos, and even got to feed an elephant some fruit. There is nothing quite as comical as watching an elephant eat fruit, especially when people are feeding it into its trunk like it’s a god damn assembly line! Aside from all of this, the thing the zoo is most famous for is its Crocoseum, a 5000 seat amphitheatre where they perform live shows featuring crocodiles, birds, elephants, and an assortment of other creatures. I ended up volunteering and somehow being picked to participate in the bird show. I had to stand up in front of a few thousand people and make ridiculous bird noises and wave my arms like a knob. Apparently, some birds were supposed to fly over and land on me, but instead they decided that they had had enough of this shit and decided to fight the power and flew out of the stadium! This promptly led to a trainer running out of the Crocoseum to track down the birds and me standing there looking like a complete jackass. Oh well, at least I still got my free magazine for participating! After rounding up a large assortment of Crocodile Hunter souvenirs, we headed back to Noosa, where we spent the evening strolling the immaculate streets and eating gelato. Very Brad Pitt, I know.
Friday morning it was time to head on to the what would be the final leg of Leeanna’s OZ journey, the Gold Coast (think a cross between a poor man’s Las Vegas and Niagara Falls, with some gorgeous beaches thrown in for good measure). After wolfing down the world’s best free hostel breakfast consisting of eggs, bacon, and sausage, we headed to the bus stop and were on our way. The bus had a short layover in Brisbane, during which time I had to make a visit to the pharmacy to try and get something that would aid the itchiness being caused by the hundreds (no joke!) of bites that were now all over my body. The bites appeared to be getting worse by the day, but despite all this, Leeanna pointed out that we had gone a full year with having to visit a doctor between the two of us. Knock on wood. Knock on wood. After pumping some over the counter meds into me, we made our way to the Gold Coast and checked into our resort (Surf Parade Resort [9/10]), and man was it nice to not be staying in a hostel! Our ocean view room featured a balcony, flat screen TV, Jacuzzi, a separate bedroom, pull out couch, and a full kitchenette. Believe me, as happy as I was to not be staying in a hostel, Leeanna was ten times happier! Seeing as how we were going to be staying for a week, we loaded up on booze (duh!) and groceries that night before spending the evening relaxing in our “resort room” and watching reruns of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” all night. I use the word relax quite sparingly though, as the bites all over my body were now all consuming and I felt the only thing to do was to take a large quantity of anti-histamines!
After checking out of our hostel the next day, it was off to the bus station to catch a ride down to the swank town of Noosa, which is located on what the Aussies call the Sunshine Coast. It also happens to be close to Steve Irwin’s Australia Zoo, which was the main reason we were going there. I’m pretty sure Leeanna’s whole mission in life (other than to have a nice base tan) has been to visit the Australia Zoo, so there were no ifs, ands, or buts about us going there. That morning, as we were about to board our bus, we ran into the senior from our tour the day before and learned that they bitched to the company and ended up getting their money back. They insisted that I call right away (which I did) and wouldn’t you know it, Miss Leeanna and I were on our way to each receiving a $165 refund! A nice turn-around from the day before I must say. With my smile still on my face from receiving my refund, we arrived in Noosa and checked into our hostel (Noosa Backapackers Resort [8/10]). We spent the remainder of the day walking around town and checking out all the mega-huge houses owned by the rich and not-so-famous before heading over to Noosa National Park to participate in Brent’s favourite activity... nature walks! I must say, at least we were rewarded by seeing one koala in the wild on our nature walk and some remarkable coast line, although I’m sure to Leeanna it’s all the same shit as nature walks just ain’t her bag! That evening I promptly felt the urge to order pizza and beers and put on ten times as many calories as I had burned off that day. I also started to notice that my body was getting quite itchy and was covered in bites. Can you say bed bugs anyone?
The next morning, we were back on the tourist trail, determined to spend our hard-earned Australian dollars. It was off to the aforementioned Australia Zoo (home of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter), which has grown from a rinky-dink reptile park to one of the busiest and most well-known tourist attractions in the country. Seeing as how it’s located in the middle of nowhere though, we had to catch the complimentary shuttle. This was no ordinary shuttle bus though; it was one that played episodes of the Crocodile Hunter non-stop! Crikey! The zoo itself was actually pretty standard, and if anything I must honestly say it was a little small (especially for the inflated admission price). Most of the animals on display were of the Australian variety, with the exception of some of the more famous animals, such as tigers, elephants, etc. What they lacked in size though, I must say they more than made up for in other areas. For starters, the assortment of things dedicated to Steve Irwin, in addition to lots memorabilia and artefacts was truly great to see. Also, the zoo offered lots of interactive shows and feedings. We watched the tortoise feeding (insert own joke), the otter feeding, got to pet koalas and kangaroos, and even got to feed an elephant some fruit. There is nothing quite as comical as watching an elephant eat fruit, especially when people are feeding it into its trunk like it’s a god damn assembly line! Aside from all of this, the thing the zoo is most famous for is its Crocoseum, a 5000 seat amphitheatre where they perform live shows featuring crocodiles, birds, elephants, and an assortment of other creatures. I ended up volunteering and somehow being picked to participate in the bird show. I had to stand up in front of a few thousand people and make ridiculous bird noises and wave my arms like a knob. Apparently, some birds were supposed to fly over and land on me, but instead they decided that they had had enough of this shit and decided to fight the power and flew out of the stadium! This promptly led to a trainer running out of the Crocoseum to track down the birds and me standing there looking like a complete jackass. Oh well, at least I still got my free magazine for participating! After rounding up a large assortment of Crocodile Hunter souvenirs, we headed back to Noosa, where we spent the evening strolling the immaculate streets and eating gelato. Very Brad Pitt, I know.
Friday morning it was time to head on to the what would be the final leg of Leeanna’s OZ journey, the Gold Coast (think a cross between a poor man’s Las Vegas and Niagara Falls, with some gorgeous beaches thrown in for good measure). After wolfing down the world’s best free hostel breakfast consisting of eggs, bacon, and sausage, we headed to the bus stop and were on our way. The bus had a short layover in Brisbane, during which time I had to make a visit to the pharmacy to try and get something that would aid the itchiness being caused by the hundreds (no joke!) of bites that were now all over my body. The bites appeared to be getting worse by the day, but despite all this, Leeanna pointed out that we had gone a full year with having to visit a doctor between the two of us. Knock on wood. Knock on wood. After pumping some over the counter meds into me, we made our way to the Gold Coast and checked into our resort (Surf Parade Resort [9/10]), and man was it nice to not be staying in a hostel! Our ocean view room featured a balcony, flat screen TV, Jacuzzi, a separate bedroom, pull out couch, and a full kitchenette. Believe me, as happy as I was to not be staying in a hostel, Leeanna was ten times happier! Seeing as how we were going to be staying for a week, we loaded up on booze (duh!) and groceries that night before spending the evening relaxing in our “resort room” and watching reruns of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” all night. I use the word relax quite sparingly though, as the bites all over my body were now all consuming and I felt the only thing to do was to take a large quantity of anti-histamines!
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