After barely surviving a bird attack the night before, Leeanna and I were up bright and early on Tuesday morning for our tour of the world famous (okay, Australia famous) Fraser Island. Now what exactly is Fraser Island you ask? Well, the long and short of it is that Fraser Island is the world’s largest sand island and is the reason Hervey Bay has become such a major tourist destination on the east coast. Our tour bus picked us up bright and early, at which time we found out there would only be six people on the tour that day, us and a group of four seniors! Apparently, the tour company had booked out 24 of their 30 available seats for a group, but when one of their two buses went down, they had to cancel the group. Enter the six of us! While one bus was in the shop, the one we were riding on didn’t look much better. The bus driver informed us that the air conditioning was not working and the 4-wheel drive was acting up. In addition to that, there was a huge crack in one of the windows on the side door. Now, I’m no expert on driving on sand islands, but I’m pretty sure 4-wheel drive is almost a necessity. Upon arriving at the island after our ferry ride over, the six of us boarded into our bus and were headed to one of the island’s famous lakes, when low and behold our bus got stuck! The driver tried feverishly to get the car down the sand road but to no avail. With 2-wheel drive it just wasn’t happening! I was starting to get the impression that it was going to be a long day. Having given up on the idea of visiting the lake, the driver escorted us to some of the island’s other attractions, including a shipwreck, rainforest walk, Eli Creek (creek you can walk through with really clear water), and the Pinnacles (goofy rocks with a bunch of crazy colours and shit). All very marvellous stuff to look at, although it would have been better with the comfort of air-conditioning between stops. Everyone who has been to Fraser Island knows that it is also famous for its large population of dingoes. Naturally, since everything went so swimmingly for us, we managed to spot exactly zero dingoes all day, and instead had to settle for seeing about 5000 dead birds that had all washed on shore and had apparently died during their migration due to a massive storm. After making it through most of the day on our sub-par tour, our driver randomly decided during afternoon tea that our bus was no longer safe enough to drive across the island because of the crack in the door window. Talk about the icing on the cake! We were then informed that we would have to flown off the island by some bush pilot that they were summoning to come rescue us. Low and behold, an hour later a plane is landing on the beach (yes, the beach!) and a pilot emerges wearing dirty clothes and no shoes. Not what we all had in mind, but as they say, beggars can’t be choosers. Next thing we know, the six of us are boarding the plane and taking off down the runway, sorry I mean beach. The people who were on the tour with us were really pissed off and vowed that they were going to file a complaint with the company. I on the other hand found it all quite comical and was trying to look at the positive side by remarking that we had at least gotten a free scenic flight over the island! After safely landing on an actual tarmac runway, we were met by a waiting taxicab that escorted us back to our accommodations and far away from the barefoot pilot. That night, the owner of the hostel, Gary, asked us how our tour went and I could not resist telling him about all the mishaps. Turns out, Gary was also quite pissed off and vowed to call the company the next day and try and get us a refund. The tour may not have gone as planned, but I must say it was one day tour I was not going to be forgetting anytime soon!
After checking out of our hostel the next day, it was off to the bus station to catch a ride down to the swank town of Noosa, which is located on what the Aussies call the Sunshine Coast. It also happens to be close to Steve Irwin’s Australia Zoo, which was the main reason we were going there. I’m pretty sure Leeanna’s whole mission in life (other than to have a nice base tan) has been to visit the Australia Zoo, so there were no ifs, ands, or buts about us going there. That morning, as we were about to board our bus, we ran into the senior from our tour the day before and learned that they bitched to the company and ended up getting their money back. They insisted that I call right away (which I did) and wouldn’t you know it, Miss Leeanna and I were on our way to each receiving a $165 refund! A nice turn-around from the day before I must say. With my smile still on my face from receiving my refund, we arrived in Noosa and checked into our hostel (Noosa Backapackers Resort [8/10]). We spent the remainder of the day walking around town and checking out all the mega-huge houses owned by the rich and not-so-famous before heading over to Noosa National Park to participate in Brent’s favourite activity... nature walks! I must say, at least we were rewarded by seeing one koala in the wild on our nature walk and some remarkable coast line, although I’m sure to Leeanna it’s all the same shit as nature walks just ain’t her bag! That evening I promptly felt the urge to order pizza and beers and put on ten times as many calories as I had burned off that day. I also started to notice that my body was getting quite itchy and was covered in bites. Can you say bed bugs anyone?
The next morning, we were back on the tourist trail, determined to spend our hard-earned Australian dollars. It was off to the aforementioned Australia Zoo (home of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter), which has grown from a rinky-dink reptile park to one of the busiest and most well-known tourist attractions in the country. Seeing as how it’s located in the middle of nowhere though, we had to catch the complimentary shuttle. This was no ordinary shuttle bus though; it was one that played episodes of the Crocodile Hunter non-stop! Crikey! The zoo itself was actually pretty standard, and if anything I must honestly say it was a little small (especially for the inflated admission price). Most of the animals on display were of the Australian variety, with the exception of some of the more famous animals, such as tigers, elephants, etc. What they lacked in size though, I must say they more than made up for in other areas. For starters, the assortment of things dedicated to Steve Irwin, in addition to lots memorabilia and artefacts was truly great to see. Also, the zoo offered lots of interactive shows and feedings. We watched the tortoise feeding (insert own joke), the otter feeding, got to pet koalas and kangaroos, and even got to feed an elephant some fruit. There is nothing quite as comical as watching an elephant eat fruit, especially when people are feeding it into its trunk like it’s a god damn assembly line! Aside from all of this, the thing the zoo is most famous for is its Crocoseum, a 5000 seat amphitheatre where they perform live shows featuring crocodiles, birds, elephants, and an assortment of other creatures. I ended up volunteering and somehow being picked to participate in the bird show. I had to stand up in front of a few thousand people and make ridiculous bird noises and wave my arms like a knob. Apparently, some birds were supposed to fly over and land on me, but instead they decided that they had had enough of this shit and decided to fight the power and flew out of the stadium! This promptly led to a trainer running out of the Crocoseum to track down the birds and me standing there looking like a complete jackass. Oh well, at least I still got my free magazine for participating! After rounding up a large assortment of Crocodile Hunter souvenirs, we headed back to Noosa, where we spent the evening strolling the immaculate streets and eating gelato. Very Brad Pitt, I know.
Friday morning it was time to head on to the what would be the final leg of Leeanna’s OZ journey, the Gold Coast (think a cross between a poor man’s Las Vegas and Niagara Falls, with some gorgeous beaches thrown in for good measure). After wolfing down the world’s best free hostel breakfast consisting of eggs, bacon, and sausage, we headed to the bus stop and were on our way. The bus had a short layover in Brisbane, during which time I had to make a visit to the pharmacy to try and get something that would aid the itchiness being caused by the hundreds (no joke!) of bites that were now all over my body. The bites appeared to be getting worse by the day, but despite all this, Leeanna pointed out that we had gone a full year with having to visit a doctor between the two of us. Knock on wood. Knock on wood. After pumping some over the counter meds into me, we made our way to the Gold Coast and checked into our resort (Surf Parade Resort [9/10]), and man was it nice to not be staying in a hostel! Our ocean view room featured a balcony, flat screen TV, Jacuzzi, a separate bedroom, pull out couch, and a full kitchenette. Believe me, as happy as I was to not be staying in a hostel, Leeanna was ten times happier! Seeing as how we were going to be staying for a week, we loaded up on booze (duh!) and groceries that night before spending the evening relaxing in our “resort room” and watching reruns of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” all night. I use the word relax quite sparingly though, as the bites all over my body were now all consuming and I felt the only thing to do was to take a large quantity of anti-histamines!
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