So, where to begin…that is the question. Let me first start by saying to everyone who has asked over the last couple of months that NO I am not crazy and secondly my fingers, toes, and testicles have not frozen off; yet. For those not in the know, I Brent Moreau aka BigIdiotStick have moved to what many people refer to as the end of the earth, or as it is formally known, Inuvik, Northwest Territories, Canada (population 3,300).
The first and most obvious question that people have asked me over the last couple of months is why move to one of the coldest and darkest places in the world when you have a perfectly good job at home in the Greater Toronto Area, and all your family and friends are here? The honest answer is, I really don’t know! After returning home in mid-November after spending a year in Australia, I quickly returned to my previous occupation in Toronto working as an Industrial-Commercial carpenter. Within a few days of returning to work (or possibly even a few minutes) I promptly remembered why I left for Australia in the first place; I hated my job and wanted to do something different! Now there’s nothing wrong with construction, in fact it is a very, very lucrative career depending on who you work for, but at the end of the day after five years of doing it I actually dreaded going to work. It was a career I fell into as a 21 year-old through a friend and subsequently became a job that was hard to leave as the money was good. Due to my not following up on my college education, I was left with very little other career options that paid well, with male prostitution clearly out of the picture as my balls were starting to sag. On top of my lack of job love, I was also newly single, coming out of a three year relationship and suddenly found myself with a lot of time to think about ME and what I wanted to do (selfish, I know). Add to all of this that I really had no possessions anymore as I had sold or got rid of most of them before I went to Australia and you have yourself a man with very little ties outside of his family and friends.
After deciding that a “life change” was needed, I started browsing internet job sites to see what was out there for a useless twat like me. Almost immediately I started looking at a few jobs in the restaurant-service industry, as that is the other area outside of construction where I have worked fairly extensively since I was a teenager. After visiting a few websites and looking at a ton of jobs both in the Toronto area and abroad, I decided that a move was definitely in order if I could make it happen. I thought long and hard about applying to a few upscale restaurants in the Caribbean that were hiring, but for some reason I kept going back to this job posting for the position of “Server” at a restaurant located in some place I had never heard of called Inuvik. After doing some quick research on the internet, I soon discovered that Inuvik was about as far north as you can go in Canada and still have some semblance of civilization and modern life. For some reason (still unknown to me) I thought this sounded like a fantastic opportunity to not only visit, but get to fully experience a place on earth, and in my own country, that very few people ever get to. So, with these visions of grandeur in my eyes, I sent off my one and only resume with the hopes of hearing back; preferably from a man who lived in an igloo and wore a seal skin coat.
Within a few days of sending off my resume for the position of server at a restaurant in Inuvik, Northwest Territories, I received an email from the boss, Joe, stating that he was interested in hiring me. After a few emails back and forth, mostly consisting of me asking ridiculous questions about living in the Arctic we arranged for a phone interview. The phone interview went according to plan for me, and I was offered a job after a lengthy conversation. Joe told me to think about it for a few days, but I already knew that I was going to go, as I was on the brink of suicide at my other job (3+ hours a day of commuting in GTA traffic will do this to a man). During our conversations and emails, Joe explained to me that I would be making $12/hour in addition to tips and would be subsidized half of my $1000 rent, meaning that for $500/month I would get my own fully furnished apartment in the building right next to the restaurant. This also meant that I wouldn’t need a car, which was a big bonus, as I am no longer a big fan of spending all my cash on automobiles. Also, I was told that on days when I was working, I would be entitled to free meals at the restaurant which would go a long way towards keeping the grocery bill to a minimum. Lastly, I was told that for every year you work, you are entitled to one free round trip flight (just pay the taxes) anywhere you want to go in the world, as the boss amasses a ton of Aeroplan Miles through the business and uses them to give his employees these flights. I immediately informed Joe that I would need to have some vacation time in April, as one of my best friends was getting married back home and he said that would be no problem. With the last of the small kinks sorted out and most of my questions answered, I saddled up for my last few weeks of construction work that would take me through to New Year’s Eve and started counting the days. Thankfully, before I left for the balmy -40°C winter temperatures of Inuvik on January 12th, my family went on a Caribbean cruise at the start of the New Year that served as a final farewell before Brent Moreau descended into what would probably be a cold, dark winter above the Arctic Circle.
When the morning of my flight finally rolled around, I gathered up the last of my belongings and had my Mommy take me to the airport. I had learned a day prior that the airline I would be travelling on from Whitehorse to Inuvik only allowed their passengers 44 pounds of luggage. This is a far cry from what most major airlines allow you to travel with (100 pounds), and does not lend itself well to people like myself who are moving or relocating. After some careful consideration (I decided I did not need to pack my solid lead balls and novelty cocaine bricks) I managed to get my luggage down to seventy-odd pounds and felt I could not go any lower. I knew I would be hit with a luggage surcharge, but the fact is a brother needs his clothes! With that in mind, I said so long to my mom and boarded the first of my three flights around 4:00pm, this one bound for Vancouver. After arriving in Vancouver, I had a layover for a few hours before my short flight up to Whitehorse, the capital city of the Yukon. I tried to sleep for a bit in the airport, but when this failed I decided to partake in my second favourite activity, eating cheeseburgers and drinking beers. Finally around 11:00pm local time (2:00am Toronto time), I boarded a 50-seater plane and headed further north than I had ever been in my life! We arrived with little fanfare as the last flight of the night coming into the small Whitehorse airport, and I had planned to just sleep in the airport, as my Air North flight to Inuvik was departing first thing in the morning. After everyone had collected their luggage and loaded into their cars and taxis, I was informed by the sole airport employee that they would be closing up for the night. At this point I started to have a slight internal panic attack, as I had no fuckin’ idea what to do and all other forms of human life were now long gone. Here I was in the Whitehorse airport at 2:00am with nowhere to go and my plans of crashing there for a few hours now foiled. The gentleman working not-so kindly informed me that there were two hotels about 800 metres away, and seeing as how I wasn’t exactly in south Florida, sleeping outside the terminal was not a wise option. Next thing I knew, there I was in all my glory, lugging almost 80 pounds of luggage down the road in the middle of the night to some overpriced hotel that I would only be staying in for a few hours. Oh, and did I mention that it was -35°C outside!? I ended up having to pay $120 for a hotel room that I spent a total of less than five hours in, and they didn’t even throw in a complimentary hooker service or even a continental breakfast! My first taste of “northern inflation” as I like to call it.
The next morning, I was up bright and early; although this time I was able to get a free shuttle to the airport and not have to worry about trudging through the cold with my luggage. After checking in and paying for my excess baggage, it was time to load the plane. I was not really sure what to expect, although it was safe to assume I wasn’t expecting a plane with personal entertainment units and flight attendants in revealing skirts. Low and behold, Air North apparently has the oldest fleet of turbo-prop planes still out there. The plane had space for about 25 people and came complete with interior wood paneling, ash trays, and the smallest seats you have ever seen. I’ve been on some pretty dodgy aircraft in my life, but this was definitely near the top of the list. The flight to Inuvik was a few hours, although we first had to stop off in Dawson City, Yukon, which at one point used to be one of Canada’s largest boom cities during the Klondike gold rush in the late 1800s. Now, Dawson City is a small town of just over a thousand people, but has established itself as a major tourist destination in the summer months, with over 60,000 people visiting it every year. Hell, the place even has a casino! Well the town may be booming in the summer months, the same cannot be said for its airport in the winter, which was the size of a large bedroom. It was official; I had arrived in the north. I’m not sure when it hit me first, when I was standing in the “airport” that was little more than a derelict log cabin or when I was sitting on the runway in Dawson City on a plane with no heat on and temperatures approaching -40°C. Despite both of those making convincing cases for my true arrival, I think it was upon departure from Dawson City, when I was on the plane with only six other people, consisting of a lady who worked with a dog sledding company and a family of five people who were travelling on to an even more remote Native community. Yes, I had arrived in the Arctic!
After taking in some spectacular scenery from the plane on the descent into the airport in Inuvik, I had feelings of both nervousness and curiousness going through my tiny brain. I had never been further north than Edmonton before and aside from a bit of internet research had no idea what to expect, as nobody I personally knew had ever lived in such a place. With that in mind, I stepped off the plane and headed out into the great unknown…
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