Day 3- These Double-Sided Dildos Shouldn't Pose A Problem At Airport Security

Due to the fact that I had very limited time in Southern Ontario before departing for Italy, I had to make the most of it from a retail standpoint.  Most people may not look at a place like Newmarket, Ontario as a shopping Mecca, but when you live in a place where underwear cost $25 a pair and only come in one style and the one cell phone store seems to only gets shipments once every leap year, good old-fashioned suburban malls seem like the greatest thing on earth.  With that in mind, I promptly borrowed my mom's SUV (cause that's what cool, 20-something suburban thugs do) and headed to the mall.  Well, fast forward a couple of hours, and I managed to rack up a tidy bill of $1100 on my credit card and was now properly equipped with enough toiletries, double-sided dildos and undergarments to outfit Lichtenstein's military.  I never used to get excited about shopping until I moved to Inuvik and had my first trip out.  I still remember that first visit to a Wal-Mart and seeing the price on things like bananas, Diet Coke, and Dunkeroos without the "northern inflation".  I damn near cried.

That night, my family thought it best to make use of the limited time they had to torture see me, so my brother and sister came over for a visit and the whole Moreau clan was reunited at last!  Apparently in my absence, my soon to be retired mother has learned how to cook and took it upon herself to make us a delicious meat loaf dinner.  I was also relieved to know that my sister Natalie is still out breaking hearts across the GTA, while my brother Kiel is still living young, wild, and free, although he has now taken his show on the road to Guelph.  Yup, the customer service agent, restaurant worker, and garage door installer/professional partier.  Not sure this is where we all thought we would be (or my parents for that matter) in our 20s, but then again I guess our earlier career choices of being Power Rangers (me) and Joe Pesci impersonators (Kiel) was destined to fail.

After tucking the old folks in bed for the night, Kiel, Natalie, and I settled in to watch the two-hour finale of "The Bachelorette Canada".  Yes, you read that right.  My sister insisted that we had to watch it as her coworker at West Jet was one of the final two contestants attempting to win over the dude's heart.  Needless to say it was some of the funniest (as in, so bad it's funny) TV I have watched in a long time.  The show seemed very reality-based, I mean come on selling a West Jet employee on TV as a nurse is perfectly acceptable.  Anyways, Nat's coworker Bianka ended up winning the show which was capped off with a beautiful  montage of the show's highlights.  Simply epic.  I cried myself to sleep...laughter truly is the best medicine.

~Brentski~