My morning started off with me heading down to the main showroom to take in another speaking engagement from my now favorite retired NFL referee, Bob McElwee. Myself and every other male in existence pretty much hung on every word this guy said as he had the job that we all wish we had. Next on the "to-do" list for Miss McParland and I was to go and check out the galley/kitchen tour. As someone who works in the restaurant industry (and is a lover of food!), it was absolutely mind-blowing to see the size of the kitchens on the ship. Factor in that they are making high quality meals with staff from around the world and you my friend are looking at one of the most well-oiled culinary machines on the planet. Truly mind blowing, and if anyone ever gets the chance to do one of these tours on their cruise ship I would definitely recommend it. Following what I can only assume was an unhealthy lunch, Colleen set me free on my own again. Being the wild bachelor that I am, I decided to take in a lecture by some old boring professor called Smithsonian Seminars: Life Forms of the Atlantic Ocean, or something to that effect. It's funny how when we are kids in school we absolutely hate listening to this type of shit, and now here I was paying to hear someone talk about plankton and porpoises and other shit I would forget in a matter of minutes. In true Brent form though I did manage to fall asleep for a good chunk of the presentation.
Feeling much wiser on microscopic marine life forms, I
decided my big brain and I needed to make another visit to Fortunes Casino
(ironic name for a casino if I say so myself).
Keeping up with the theme of the trip I played in a poker tourney and
lost to some absolutely terrible card players.
As if I hadn't donated enough money already, I convinced Colleen to play
in a blackjack tourney with me, which again just led to a little more money
being added to our end of cruise bill.
The lesson to be learned here people is don't gamble unless you know
you're going to win! I mean, it's common
knowledge!
That afternoon we were also informed that another guest on
the ship had suffered a heart attack and that they would be turning the boat
back around towards Portugal. Apparently
this happens quite frequently on these ships and is nothing out of the ordinary
for the crew. Fast forward a few hours
later, and a Portuguese helicopter and plane greeted our ship out on the open
ocean to whisk the heart attack victim back to Madeira for medical
attention. We later received word that
the man made it safely to a hospital in Portugal and was now going to be living
off of a strict fish diet for the rest of his life! Also, no word on his
medical bill yet, but I'm sure getting airlifted from the middle of the ocean
with a military escort is pretty cheap.
That evening, the night's main attraction was a standup
comedian by the name of Don Gavin. Known
as the "Godfather of Boston Comedy", I must say he did a pretty good
job at getting all the old folks on board to have a good laugh. I was a little skeptical of going to see a
standup show on a cruise ship as the one I had been to on a previous cruise was
absolutely dreadful (If you feel like torturing yourself look up Al Lubel on
YouTube). Anyways, Don Gavin appeased
the crowds and the crowd showed their appreciation with a big round of
arthritic applause. Zing!
~Brentski~
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