Day 21- It's Just A Hot Tub Rash I Swear!

With our last full day at sea upon us, Colleen and I naturally had to get sick the night before.  Whether it was from food or possibly spending too much time confined in a ship cabin with each other we will never know.  While I spent most of the morning getting reacquainted with the porcelain fixture in the bathroom, Colleen who had been up since 5:30am decided that the best way to medicate her upset stomach was by heading to the poolside bar and waiting for them to open at 9am sharp.  Yup, the healing powers of margaritas are a magical thing.  Upon Colleen's return from her morning libations, she insisted on taking one last trip to the casino.  Seeing as how the casino had already broken my morale on numerous occasions thus far this trip, I decided that my time would be better spent taking a nap in one of the many chairs found in public spaces throughout the ship.  I noticed on this cruise that this is definitely one of the favorite pastimes of people as they get older.  And the best part is no one bothers you.  I fall asleep in the Martini Bar in the middle of the day and no one bats an eye.  Yup, I am definitely a senior at heart. 

Our final afternoon before reaching landfall the next morning was pretty uneventful.  I hung out most of the day watching football before deciding to hit the hot tub.  I figured that since my entire chest was now covered in some freaky chlorine rash I couldn't really do any more damage to myself.  It's great for privacy too, cause I mean who really wants to get in a hot tub when the other guy in there has spots all over his chest.  It goes without saying that I enjoyed my own private hot tub, where I could fart and let the jets tickle my butt crack as much as I wanted. 

That evening we had "the last supper" and said goodbye to our fellow guests and the wait staff.  The dinner was made even better by the fact that we got free booze from our drinks server who also gave me his contact info.  I've never been able to pickup chicks, but when it comes to 30-something Indonesian men, well let's just say I got some game!  Following dinner we took in the final night's show which consisted of a comedy-magic-dancing medley.  The real entertainment that night though was watching some of the guests dance to the live music.  I genuinely wish I did not care what people think about me and could dance like Napoleon Dynamite on cocaine.  I mean, it's a truly inspirational thing to watch.

Some Randomness From My Two Weeks At Sea

·         Old people REALLY love to do large print crosswords. 

·         A confused old man walked up to the table where Colleen was playing Blackjack and asked, "is this the slots tournament?"   What a weapon.

·         I thought Speedos were mainly a European thing.  Apparently lots of elderly North American men feel that the Speedo is an appropriate clothing choice.  It is not.

·         During a two-week cruise, the average amount of weight put on by a vacationer is ten pounds.  I managed to pack on five, and that was with regular visits to the onboard fitness facilities.

·         A couple of times I found myself wondering how many professional glass blowers there are in the world.  I am afraid I may never know.

·         I LOVE how enthusiastic a lot of the older guests were during some of the live entertainment.  My generation could learn a thing or two.

·         People who have been married a long time and may or may not be senile love to yell at their husbands/wives for the most mundane things.  Nothing compliments an elevator ride quite like listening to a couple of geezers bicker at each other.  It's especially fun when they no longer even realize what they were complaining about in the first place by the time they reach their destination 20 seconds later.

·         After talking to lots of passengers, I have discovered that there is this whole sub-culture of retired people who practically live on cruise ships.  Many of them stay on the same ships for months at a time and just travel around the globe.  While I do envy them, I admit it would not be a lifestyle choice that would suit most.

·         Seeing a guy with a seeing eye dog reading a book: priceless and confusing all at the same time.

·         My favorite happy person on the ship was the old lady who yelled at me to get in the elevator.  The reason I was not fully in the elevator was that I was trying to be gracious as her husband had a walker and was letting him work his was in to the elevator.  KEEP CALM AND WALKER ON. WALKER ON.

 ~Brentski~