Sadly our vacation was coming to a close. We only had one destination left, Hong Kong,
where we would only be spending a couple of nights (travel dates were changed
due to poor planning on our part) before flying back to Canada and the reality
that awaited us there (see: work and cold
weather). On a much more awesome
note, while we were in Hong Kong, Colleen and I were going to go to Disneyland the next day and behave like
a couple of children!
Our flight to Hong Kong was not scheduled to leave Koh Samui
until 5pm,so we had one last day in the tropical expanse known as
Thailand. After loitering in our room
and its air conditioning for as long as possible, we eventually caught the
shuttle bus into town where we made it our mission to spend the remaining bit
of Thai currency that we had. Being the
foodies that we are, McDonald's was
naturally our first stop of the day for some of that fine local fare.
While Mickey D's is usually a pretty safe bet, the same
could not be said for our second stop of the day. Although I am not a huge man of massages,
Colleen somehow convinced me that we should get one last massage before leaving
the island. And as you all know, I am a
big practitioner of the "happy wife, happy life" philosophy. So with that, we found the classiest/most
reputable looking place we came across and sauntered in and signed up for some
oil massages. It was one of the bigger
massage parlors in the area (do they call
them parlors, or is that only for rub and tugs?) so it seemed like a safe
bet. Boy were we wrong! Next thing I knew, Colleen and I were being
led upstairs to our own private curtained-off area with our two masseuses. There was only slight problem...my masseuse
was not a chick, or even a dude for that matter: it was a ladyboy! Kind of
fitting on my last day in Thailand don't you think? Colleen could not stop giggling, while I was
not sure whether to laugh myself or run out of the building. Never being one to want to offend people, the
next thing I knew I was following the instructions of my large-handed, and we
shall assume well-endowed massage expert and was stripping down to my
boxers. Mother of God. As I laid
down I tried to relax, but the truth is I could not stop laughing to
myself. Here I was 95% naked getting
oiled up by someone with gender identification issues while my girlfriend was
laying on a bed beside me smirking and giggling at my discomfort. As the massage progressed, so too did the relationship
between his/her hands and my body. Next
thing I knew, my upper thighs were getting oiled up and the hands were slowing
getting conspicuously close to my genital region. I'm not going to lie: there was some definite
finger-to-ball grazing going on, but at this point I was in too deep (pun fully
intended)! They say massages are
supposed to be a relaxing experience...I can assure you this was not! Since I am clearly a sucker for punishment,
we realized we didn't have any small bills to tip the masseuses and trying to
ask someone to make change for you who doesn't speak any English is next to
impossible. So we had to go to a shop
down the road to break our bill so that we could come back and tip my burly
provider of pleasure. I guess I just
couldn't stay away from those magic hands!
Once we dropped the last bit of our money on some ice cream
cones, we hopped in a cab to the airport for our impending flight to Hong
Kong. Koh Samui Airport is actually rated as one of the top ten airports
in the world. It has a beautiful
open-air concept and is a truly "tropical" airport. Despite its superior ranking, we were
informed that our flight had been delayed.
Due to the setback, we were each given a voucher that we could use in
the airport shops for either food or a massage.
I will let you guess which one Colleen and I opted for! After killing as much time as we could we
headed to the boarding gate, only to be greeted by even more delays. Again though, the Koh Samui Airport stepped up and kept the grumpy passengers
happy with free snack food and refreshments.
Following multiple postponements, our flight did eventually
depart and we touched down in Hong Kong shortly after midnight. We grabbed a cab to the Panda Hotel (yes, that was the real name) and seemingly passed an endless
supply of skyscrapers along the way. I
knew Hong Kong was densely packed, but it is truly the definition of a concrete
jungle. Since WiFi was atrociously
priced at $15 a day in our hotel, we ventured out into the Hong Kong night in
search of a McDonald'/free WiFi,
because let's be real, everyone needs to visit McDonald's three times a day. Am I right?
~Brentski~
 | ||||
| The beauty that is Hong Kong.
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